So Sue Me
In case you missed it, Guns N’ Roses—or what’s left of it, seeing as Axl Rose has driven anyone else of consequence out of the band—has finally released Chinese Democracy. It’s been a whoppping 17 years since the last album of original GNR material.
But the biggest story isn’t the music. It’s the Dr Pepper.
The beverage maker (which, by the way, officially dropped the period after “Dr” in the 1950s) decided earlier this year to give a free drink to everyone in America if Chinese Democracy actually saw release in 2008. Dr Pepper put a coupon for the soda on its Web site.
Then the madness began. The site crashed under the weight of free-drink seekers, you see. So the company extended the coupon availability and took extra measures to meet customer demand.
What’s Axl’s reaction to all this free additional publicity for his album? Guns N’ Roses may sue Dr Pepper so the band’s remaining fans don’t blame Axl for confusion about the coupon process.
The landslide of potential lawsuits in the wake of this news is astounding. Look who else is filing court claims:
Georgia: This summer’s conflict with Russia put the country on the map for many Americans. That’s a shame for the Caucasian country’s secret plans to annex the other Georgia—you know, the one with ATL and millions of peaches—to remove all confusion about its name. Too bad the halfway-around-the-world Georgians brought it on themselves by attacking the breakaway region of South Ossetia and bringing Russian wrath—and the world’s attention—down on them.
So they will sue themselves.
Sarah Palin: The Alaska Governor will sue the Republican Party and Senator John McCain for making her the party’s vice presidential candidate this year. All that attention is giving her big time ambitions, and that’s just not healthy.
Reportedly, her claim seeks $10 million for emotional damages … as well as permanent ownership of every designer outfit the party had bought for her to wear during the campaign.
Dr Pepper: Who still drinks this crap, anyway? With all the attention Guns N’ Roses is giving the drink, the company’s plans to fade into oblivion are ruined. So Dr Pepper will now countersue.
Not for any cash, mind you. They just want GNR to bury Chinese Democracy in a time capsule for 17 more years.