Monday, February 25, 2008

Will Googlenope for Food

Last year, Washington Post columnist Gene Weingarten used one of his essays to point out that it’s really, really hard to search for a short phrase on Google that isn’t already out there on somebody’s site.

He came up with a few searches, however, that drew no results. Phrases like “Queen Elizabeth’s buttocks” and “I’m fixin’ to solve me the Shimura-Taniyama conjecture.”

Clearly, these aren't the most common things out there on the Internet. But you'd think that somebody, somewhere, would have typed these into a website.

You'd be wrong.

He called any such group of words that cannot be found on Google a “Googlenope.” And I’ve had many phrases cross my mind lately that I suspected might qualify.

Indeed, until Google picks up this post, these are all Googlenopes:

Accurate weather forecast in Washington, D.C.

Smell my leather pants.

The benefit of watching reality TV.

Britney Spears is America’s role model.

Tasty German supper.

Congressmen who make me horny.

Bravery among Frenchmen.

My threesome with Jessica Alba and Screech from Saved by the Bell.

And, sadly, this is also a Googlenope:

David Amulet rocks.



At February 25, 2008 11:15 AM, Blogger cube replied to my musings ...

Googlenope. Why didn't I think of that? Alas, yet another blogportunity slips through my fingers.

At February 25, 2008 1:16 PM, Blogger Tai replied to my musings ...

One day, Dave, you won't be a googlenope!

At February 25, 2008 6:09 PM, Blogger Lee Ann replied to my musings ...

Well, I think you rock!
Have a great week!
Lee Ann

At February 25, 2008 7:22 PM, Blogger Barbara replied to my musings ...

YOU DO ROCK, it worked, I typed it in and here I am back at your site. Proof that you rock.

(the Congressman one made me lol)

At February 25, 2008 7:46 PM, Blogger David Amulet replied to my musings ...

Cube: I think the term "World Wide Web" is still unexplored.

Tai: Someday soon, I hope.

Lee Ann: That works for me!

Barbara: Wow, Google acts quickly! Ironically, one would have to know (or at least suspect) that David Amulet both existed and rocked in order to think of searching for something like that ... and that knowledge (or suspicion) would almost certainly come from being aware of this blog in the first place.

At February 25, 2008 10:11 PM, Blogger Perplexio replied to my musings ...

But what about the google searches for "sopping wer p*ssy" that yield an images of cats that fell in a swimming pools or "rock hard cock" that would yield images of concrete and marble rooster statues?

At February 25, 2008 10:58 PM, Anonymous Anonymous replied to my musings ...

Google may not think so but I do certainly do!

Lisa B.

At February 25, 2008 11:26 PM, Blogger angel, jr. replied to my musings ...

I like the "Smell My Leather Pants".

At February 26, 2008 12:37 AM, Blogger Mike replied to my musings ...

"Famous Polish Mountaineers". It's actually on there. I'm not sure what's funnier, that I thought of it or that there are hits for it. Of course, this is a great segue (sp?) into the fact that you do rock, David.

At February 26, 2008 12:58 AM, Blogger Bruce replied to my musings ...

That first one cracked me up, because Don and Mike are always ripping the local weather guys for inaccurate forecasts. They've had Tony Perkins and Topper Shutt on several times, and recently have had Howard Bernstein on a couple of times. Luckily, these guys all have a sense of humor, so they play along.

At February 26, 2008 1:42 AM, Blogger Jim replied to my musings ...

man, so that's your leather pants! wow. I thought a cat died in attic.

(LOL -- and the fact that you even thought of a threesome that included Screech is very troubling, but 'David Amulet needs therapy' had no hits) Jim

gfwawfy<--someone who'll switch from McCain to Nader

At February 26, 2008 7:12 AM, Blogger David Amulet replied to my musings ...

Perplexio: I haven't explored said searches; I'll have to trust you on those.

Lisa: You had me fooled with the "anonymous" thing. I appreciate the thumbs up.

Angel: Thank you--it's an homage back to my last avatar, the pic of me as The Crow in my black leather pants.

Mike: If I'm not mistaken--and I don't have the time this a.m. to look it up--the highest mountain in Australia is named for a Polish clilmber! But I've been wrong about more important things, so I wouldn't bet my breakfast on it. And thanks for the affirmation.

Bruce: I heard one session with Topper, and he actually held his own quite well.

Jim: HA! Therapy is right--as long as Ms. Alba is my therapist (and Screech waits outside). As for the McCain-to-Nader "gfwawfy," maybe that's the name of the ONE McCain supporter in the country who actually might consider it.

At February 26, 2008 8:23 AM, Blogger The Misanthrope replied to my musings ...

Congressmen who make me horny and My threesome with Jessica Alba and Screech both made me laugh. Nicely done!!

At February 26, 2008 11:21 AM, Blogger zen wizard replied to my musings ...

"Henry Waxman, Sex God."

"Madeline Albright Nude."

"Rusty Hardin Tooth Whitening."

"Rusty Hardin Great Coiffures."

"Rusty Hardin GQ Cover."

"Roger Clemens Zen Meditation Haiku."

"Witty Hilarious Moments 80th Academy Awards."

"Top Dollar Paid for Nashua Pride Baseball Memorabilia."

"Rich Garcés' Exotic Male Dance Review."

At February 26, 2008 12:10 PM, Anonymous Anonymous replied to my musings ...

David Amulet does rock! And your number one placing says so!

At February 26, 2008 12:45 PM, Blogger Perplexio replied to my musings ...

I take it you don't like German food?

I've had a few tasty German suppers in my day... some Thuringer, Knockwurst, Bratwurst, Sauerkraut, some German potato salad, and a nice frothy stein of good German beer.

I believe the meal took up permanent residence in my stomach.

At February 26, 2008 12:57 PM, Blogger David Amulet replied to my musings ...

Misanthrope: Funny things pop into my head sometimes.

ZW: Nice ones. I think you've outdone me on creativity.

Jenn: We'll see if there is ever any competition among sites for the most "David Amulet rocks" occurrences.

Perplexio: Not one of those things tastes good, IMO. Except the beer, which isn't really supper--that's a day-long thing.

At February 26, 2008 5:40 PM, Blogger Bruce replied to my musings ...

"Rich Garcés' Exotic Male Dance Review."-

Also known as El Guapo on Parade.

At February 26, 2008 7:25 PM, Anonymous Anonymous replied to my musings ...

You're telling me, nowhere on in Internetland, is there a "lack of bravery among frenchmen"

Oh, I see what you did. You misspelled frenchmen.

At February 26, 2008 9:37 PM, Blogger bob_vinyl replied to my musings ...

Hey, that last one turns up some results and my site is fourth on the list! I dunno if that's a good thing for you or not...

At February 27, 2008 7:24 AM, Blogger David Amulet replied to my musings ...

Bruce: I thought you were going bilingual on me.

WIGSF: It's true--"bravery among Frenchmen," spelled correctly, does not appear in a Google search. Thanks for catching the typo, which I've fixed in my post.

Bob: Your site only shows up if you leave it an open search--so that Google finds sites that have the words "David," "Amulet," and "rocks" on the site (or close to each other ... I don't know). Searching for a PHRASE--by putting it in quotes--reveals which sites have the phrase as a phrase.

At February 28, 2008 5:46 PM, Blogger bob_vinyl replied to my musings ...

I just figured you'd take what you could get. Plus, I'm usually excited to see my site in ANY google search. Yeah, it's that bad.

At February 29, 2008 2:06 PM, Blogger An80sNut replied to my musings ...

Yes, your even posting your Googlenopes made them Googleyeps.


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