License to Mock

Vanity plate—those vehicle tags with personalized expressions usually limited to seven characters—have always bugged me.

I see more of them than most of you. According to a study by the American Association of Motor Vehicle Administrators, Virginia has the highest “vanity plate penetration rate” of any US state: more than 16 percent.

Sure, it’s a great way for states to make extra money, thus lowering taxes for the rest of us. I’m all in favor of that. But I’ve always had difficulty understanding why people would pay extra money just to have strangers pass them, look at their oddly abbreviated pet phrase, and say one of two things:

“How clever!”

(or)

“What the &#$% does that mean?!?”

Well, one New Zealander’s ingenuity caught up with him recently when, according to this story form the online Boston Herald, his Subaru Impreza was stolen.

What did its plate say?

STOWLN.

That goes in the “Vanity Plate, How Appropriate” file. Just like these:

Senator Ted Stevens: CORRUPT

Barack Obama: ROBNHUD

Sarah Palin: ICRUSHA

Mainstream news media: 2BIASED

My financial advisor: GOODLCK

And I’m ashamed to admit that back in the day I used to have a vanity plate. So I must add:

David Amulet: HYPOCRT