A Saucy Call
If you’re like most people, you can remember plenty of situations when you wish a police officer had been nearby.
Maybe you watched someone steal a purse and run away into the crowd. It’s possible a car ran a red light in front of you. Or perhaps something more serious befell you, and you witnessed battery, arson, or murder.
Whatever it was, feel free to imagine yourself getting so upset at the wrong you had witnessed that you called 911 right away for emergency assistance.
That’s exactly what Reginald Jackson of Jacksonville, Florida did earlier this month when he suffered an offense so dreadful, so heinous, that he felt compelled to call the police:
His sandwich had no sauce.
So he dialed 911 … and then dialed again to protest officers’ slow response to his “emergency.”
Off the top of my head, I can think of several things more worthy of a 911 call than a sauceless sandwich:
The announcement that Britney Spears probably will perform at this year’s MTV Video Music Awards.
Brett Favre’s legacy-tainting return to the NFL.
Hilary Clinton having her name placed in nomination at the Democratic convention—after conceding the race two months ago.
China’s use of underage gymnasts in the Olympics.