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Friday, August 29, 2008

And Then There Were Three

Not long ago I heard Morgan Freeman had been in a car crash—and the presence in said crash of a lady friend spurred the revelation of his divorce, which had been kept out the media spotlight.


Didn’t he play God in Bruce Almighty and Evan Almighty? I guess it’s time for the Catholic Church to update its stance on divorce.

Then last week, we found out that Chris Kattan, best (only?) known from his role on Saturday Night Live, has filed for legal separation from his wife, whom he married in late June and split from on August 10. Yes, you read that right—the filings show that the lovebirds separated a mere six weeks and one day after their nuptials.

For those of you not keeping track, that’s about five and a half weeks longer than the theater runs of Kattan's big-screen showings, Corky Romano and A Night at the Roxbury.

Combined.

They say that celebrity deaths come in threes. The mysterious “they” are full of crap, naturally, but the oddity of the next event makes me wonder whether they will now make similar claims about failed celebrity marriages.

The third one is a doozie: Phil Collins has settled his divorce with his third wife, Orianne Cevey, in which he paid her 25 million pounds (almost 50 million dollars). That’s more than Sir Paul McCartney shelled out to Heather Mills earlier this year.

Maybe it’s a form of karmic retribution for the ex-Genesis singer—who, after meeting Cevey in the mid-1990s, infamously communicated by fax with his second wife about their divorce.

Note to Phil: Be careful with #4. The royalties on your ’80s hits can barely keep up with your breakup payouts.

17 Comments:

At August 29, 2008 5:42 PM, Anonymous kim replied to my musings ...

DAMN. Phil should have hired Paul's lawyer.

 
At August 29, 2008 7:14 PM, Blogger Ray Van Horn, Jr. replied to my musings ...

and I'm sure that royalty discompensation has a lot to do with the fact he released the same damn song over and over

 
At August 30, 2008 12:50 AM, Blogger Barbara(aka Layla) replied to my musings ...

why do these rich people get married without a pre-nuptial agreement that says YOU GET ZIP.

 
At August 30, 2008 11:19 AM, Blogger David Amulet replied to my musings ...

Kim: You're right--he could have saved a few hundred thousand pounds.

Ray: Now, let's be fair--in the past 20 years, he's had TWO songs: the slow one and the fast one.

Barbara: UK law has among the most generous-to-spouses divorce rules in the free world, leaning toward equal division of all marital assets--even those acquired before the marriage. So, unlike here, the "pre-nup" really doesn't apply.

America rocks.

 
At August 30, 2008 2:31 PM, Blogger Perplexio replied to my musings ...

I actually took a girl on a date to see A Night at the Roxbury when it came out in the movie theaters. We still keep in touch after all these years but something tells me that movie choice might have had something to do with things never progressing beyond the "just friends" stage.

 
At August 30, 2008 8:47 PM, Blogger Tina replied to my musings ...

An old Friend With Benefits was broken up with by text. So following a long absence from my life, he then tried to booty call me by text.

 
At September 01, 2008 4:47 PM, OpenID whatigotsofar replied to my musings ...

Phil's gonna be just fine. Everytime he breaks up from a wedding, he goes on to write a huge hit to cover his divorce costs.

 
At September 01, 2008 4:50 PM, Blogger Phats replied to my musings ...

Wasn't too surprised about Kattan. celeb relationships few last long so never too shocked.

I still can't imagine as morgan as Alex Cross I still think he was the wrong choice for that role ha

 
At September 02, 2008 8:06 AM, Anonymous LisaBinDaCity replied to my musings ...

I'm a big Phil Collins fan, but his behavior is absolutely taunting karma to kick his backside to the curb ;-)

I've missed you, David! Sorry to be MIA but I look forward to catching up on your adventures.

 
At September 02, 2008 12:04 PM, Blogger David Amulet replied to my musings ...

Perplexio: An odd choice, I'll admit. But now you have that great story.

Tina: I thought the whole point of a FWB was the lack of any need to break up and stuff like that. Sounds like it went a step beyond ... but nothing that texting couldn't handle.

WIGSF: I don't recall any huge hits in the late '90s, but he had enough stashed away to get him through. As he does now.

Phats: One of his best roles has been Lucius Fox in the two recent Batman movies. Perfect casting.

Lisa: Welcome back. Enjoy the (few) archives since your blogging break.

 
At September 02, 2008 10:10 PM, Blogger Mike replied to my musings ...

Didn't Phil have some movie soundtrack hits later in the 90's and earlier this decade? Night at the Roxbury: even the trailer was far too long, as was Kattan's stint on SNL. Gues I'm jaded when I grew up on Miller, Lovitz, Hartman, et al.

Funny how fickle the media is about celebrity divorces they cover. And I thought the French were fickle...

 
At September 04, 2008 1:54 AM, Blogger Phats replied to my musings ...

so I hear the Devils got an unexpected drop in during their football game this past Saturday that was hilarious

 
At September 08, 2008 12:27 PM, Blogger angel, jr. replied to my musings ...

I sort of remember Chris Kattan--but as that character Mango.

 
At September 08, 2008 3:08 PM, Blogger David Amulet replied to my musings ...

Mike: With the exception of JT's "@%#& in a box" video, SNL hasn't been truly funny since the Celebrity Jeopardy skits. And that was about the best thing since the late-'80s stuff you loved.

Phats: At least they didn't drop the game. They waited until this past weekend for that.

Angel: You have just scarred me by bringing up those memories. Geez, thanks.

 
At September 09, 2008 11:24 AM, Blogger cube replied to my musings ...

Oh, who the hell cares what these celebutards do with their private lives.

 
At September 09, 2008 4:47 PM, Blogger missy replied to my musings ...

By fax? Classy.

 
At September 09, 2008 5:04 PM, Blogger David Amulet replied to my musings ...

Cube: "Celebutards." Wow--you must have watched Tropical Thunder!

Missy: I'm waiting to hear if he breaks up with someone new by texting.

 

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