And Then There Were Three

Not long ago I heard Morgan Freeman had been in a car crash—and the presence in said crash of a lady friend spurred the revelation of his divorce, which had been kept out the media spotlight.


Didn’t he play God in Bruce Almighty and Evan Almighty? I guess it’s time for the Catholic Church to update its stance on divorce.

Then last week, we found out that Chris Kattan, best (only?) known from his role on Saturday Night Live, has filed for legal separation from his wife, whom he married in late June and split from on August 10. Yes, you read that right—the filings show that the lovebirds separated a mere six weeks and one day after their nuptials.

For those of you not keeping track, that’s about five and a half weeks longer than the theater runs of Kattan's big-screen showings, Corky Romano and A Night at the Roxbury.

Combined.

They say that celebrity deaths come in threes. The mysterious “they” are full of crap, naturally, but the oddity of the next event makes me wonder whether they will now make similar claims about failed celebrity marriages.

The third one is a doozie: Phil Collins has settled his divorce with his third wife, Orianne Cevey, in which he paid her 25 million pounds (almost 50 million dollars). That’s more than Sir Paul McCartney shelled out to Heather Mills earlier this year.

Maybe it’s a form of karmic retribution for the ex-Genesis singer—who, after meeting Cevey in the mid-1990s, infamously communicated by fax with his second wife about their divorce.

Note to Phil: Be careful with #4. The royalties on your ’80s hits can barely keep up with your breakup payouts.