Erasing the Past

Frequent readers here know that David Amulet is no fan of political correctness—or people who insist on changing the past.

Altering something that has already occurred simply to suit some new purpose annoys me. Last fall, for example, do-gooders’ attempt to edit Tom and Jerry cartoons to eliminate scenes of cigarette smoking got me hot under the collar.

Now revisionism is coming from corporate squabbling, of all things.

It seems British Airways can’t stand the fact that Sir Richard Branson—wealthy head of rival Virgin Atlantic—has a scene in last year’s James Bond smash Casino Royale. So the BA in-flight version of the film has his face airbrushed out.

This is foolish. It’s petty. It’s childish.

It’s messing with Bond. Is nothing sacred?

A barrier has been crossed, with disastrous consequences. Just think of what this will lead to:

Eddie Van Halen will remove Michael Anthony’s bass lines and vocals from Van Halen’s classic albums. Because he has replaced Anthony in the band with his son Wolfgang, Eddie simply will edit Wolfgang’s work into the albums.

The vocals, however, might be a bit strained—seeing as Wolfgang wasn’t even a fetus when these albums were made.

Nick Lachey will edit Jessica Simpson out of episodes of their vapid reality show, Newlyweds. Without her image onscreen, viewers will see Nick talking into thin air—or to a wall.

Which will only improve the conversation.

American Idol producers will remove judges Paula Abdul and Randy Jackson from the show. They will find replacements that, in one fell swoop, will change Simon Cowell from the premier jackass of the show into the nice guy of the triumvirate. And who will these new judges be?

I suggest Alec Baldwin and Rosie O’Donnell.