Send in the Clowns
In recent days, I’ve been assaulted by clowns.
Thanks for your concern—I can feel it—but there’s no need to worry. Jesters did not actually threaten me with physical harm; the assault was solely through the media.
First, I became aware that last month in Colombia, a man shot and killed two clowns at a traveling circus.
Many people probably understand this assailant’s urge.
Coulrophobia—the fear of clowns—is actually quite common. Whether it’s their makeup, freaky hair, or the big red noses, something about clowns scares the crap out of a wide cross-section of the general public.
Shooting them seems a bit extreme … but who knows what circus of horrors was in the gunman’s head from childhood trauma at the hand of a creepy clown?
Right after seeing this news, another clown reference popped up. One of my favorite movies, Office Space, came on. As always, I was hooked.
Of the films many great exchanges, one of the best is this dialogue between software weenies Michael Bolton and Samir Nagheenanajar:
Michael: Yeah, well at least your name isn’t Michael Bolton.
Samir: You know, there's nothing wrong with that name.
Michael: There was nothing wrong with it ... until I was about 12 years old and that no-talent ass clown became famous and started winning Grammies.
Samir: Well, why don't you just go by Mike instead of Michael?
Michael: No way! Why should I change? He’s the one who sucks.
This virtual clown assault prompted me to tell a friend the best clown joke I’ve yet heard:
What did one cannibal say to the other cannibal as they ate a clown?
“Does this taste funny to you?