Saturday, March 03, 2007

Send in the Clowns

In recent days, I’ve been assaulted by clowns.

Thanks for your concern—I can feel it—but there’s no need to worry. Jesters did not actually threaten me with physical harm; the assault was solely through the media.

First, I became aware that last month in Colombia, a man shot and killed two clowns at a traveling circus.

Many people probably understand this assailant’s urge.

Coulrophobia—the fear of clowns—is actually quite common. Whether it’s their makeup, freaky hair, or the big red noses, something about clowns scares the crap out of a wide cross-section of the general public.

Shooting them seems a bit extreme … but who knows what circus of horrors was in the gunman’s head from childhood trauma at the hand of a creepy clown?

Right after seeing this news, another clown reference popped up. One of my favorite movies, Office Space, came on. As always, I was hooked.

Of the films many great exchanges, one of the best is this dialogue between software weenies Michael Bolton and Samir Nagheenanajar:

Michael: Yeah, well at least your name isn’t Michael Bolton.

Samir: You know, there's nothing wrong with that name.

Michael: There
was nothing wrong with it ... until I was about 12 years old and that no-talent ass clown became famous and started winning Grammies.

Samir: Well, why don't you just go by Mike instead of Michael?

Michael: No way! Why should I change? He’s the one who sucks.

This virtual clown assault prompted me to tell a friend the best clown joke I’ve yet heard:

What did one cannibal say to the other cannibal as they ate a clown?

“Does this taste funny to you?


At March 03, 2007 9:04 PM, Blogger angel, jr. replied to my musings ...

I've been afraid of clowns since the movie "Poltergeist" and that weird clown doll. And then there was the book "IT" by Stephen King.

At March 04, 2007 9:52 AM, Blogger Ray Van Horn, Jr. replied to my musings ...

I was going to bring up both of those clowns, and Pennywise is the IT clown...we all float down here... "does this taste funny to you?" ouch

At March 04, 2007 10:23 AM, Anonymous Bruce replied to my musings ...

Ya know, I've always hoped that someone would rid the world of Insane Clown Posse ; maybe there's still some hope.

At March 04, 2007 10:43 AM, Blogger Pixie replied to my musings ...

Clowns don't bother me at all.
I don't "get" office space its one of WP's faves too, I think its boring.
Hee maybe its an American thing.

At March 04, 2007 2:54 PM, Blogger Grafs replied to my musings ...

I love office space, but I hate clowns. They look happy until you get up close and there's a scowl on their face.

At March 05, 2007 8:48 AM, Blogger Stacy The Peanut Queen replied to my musings ...

Guess I shouldn't admit that one of the first CD's I ever received was a Michael Bolton CD, huh?

Well, I'll deny it if you tell anyone about it...swear I will.

Oh, and have you seen the previews of that one movie about the killer dolls coming to life? One of them is a clown doll. FREAKY.

At March 05, 2007 12:32 PM, Blogger Mike replied to my musings ...

I'm more afraid of squirrels than clowns, but I have been known to avoid them. Partly due to some chainsaw wielding ones at a Halloween event some years ago, and another very real concern. First, the size of their shoes worries me, especially if you stand next to one curbside. You're just asking to be collateral damage when the bus comes by and catches the toes. But my biggest concern is when I see a clown on the subway, the train is packed full enough already. Imagine if 1000 of his friends show up to ride the same train at rush hour, like the 6 from Grand Central to Union Square? I'll walk the 25 blocks, thank you.

At March 05, 2007 1:33 PM, Blogger Metal Mark replied to my musings ...

I always liked clowns and didn't meet anyone who was scared of them until I was like a teenager.

At March 05, 2007 2:48 PM, Blogger David Amulet replied to my musings ...

Angel, Ray: IT pretty much did it for most people.

Bruce: I think market dynamics have taken care of the ICP.

Pixie, Grafs: Maybe Office Space is an Amercian thing. Workplace dynamics humor doesn't seem to translate well.

PQ: You can admit you received it ... as long as you confirm that you immediately destroyed it and buried the ashes. And don't talk to me about dolls coming to life. Very creepy.

Mike: What about squirrels dressed up as clowns? Now that's scary.

Mark: You are one of the lucky, unscarred ones.

-- david

At March 05, 2007 3:20 PM, Blogger Paige Burns replied to my musings ...

I've never really been a "live" clown fan, I could handle Bozo and Cookie, but seeing them up close and personal...uh, no. Plus one of the umpteen Halloween movies had a clown in it and that just did me in.

At March 05, 2007 4:48 PM, Blogger Minka replied to my musings ...

I´ve heard that joke before. It is a good one too :)
I belong to the part of the human race that is freaked out by clowns. It´s because I can´t see their eyes or facial gestures. Any decent human nowadays wears invisible masks. Less Scary...from a visual perspective!

At March 05, 2007 9:43 PM, Blogger Janet replied to my musings ...

Someone once told me that Stephen King's IT did them in as far as clowns were concerned. I've never been that creeped out by them. That's ok though bc I'm afraid of enough of other random things that can take their place.:)

At March 05, 2007 10:11 PM, Blogger The Phoenix replied to my musings ...

That is my favorite scene. Funny funny writing. Makes me laugh everytime.

At March 05, 2007 10:16 PM, Blogger Lee Ann replied to my musings ...

I have heard that people are scared of clowns. I have never thought I was, but I very well could be depending on the circumstances.

Have a great week!

At March 06, 2007 12:26 AM, Blogger Phats replied to my musings ...

Jesus what did the clowns ever do to you haha! :)

I love office space!!!

At March 06, 2007 8:46 AM, Blogger Mike replied to my musings ...

My wife is deathly afraid of clowns. Anytime I'm watching something on TV and a clown comes on, I have to change it. Somehow she manages to get by the one in Billy Madison though.

BTW........Office Space is a great movie. I quote it all the time.

At March 06, 2007 9:25 AM, Blogger David Amulet replied to my musings ...

Paige: I agree--I prefer clowns dead, too.

Minka: You're right about that. Unless it's a masquerade ball, let's see those faces.

Janet: Pick your poison. I guess it's better for some folks to be scared by clowns--which they don't see much--than to fear open spaces or something else encountered more often.

Phoenix: I also like the "PC load letter" scene Michael has with the printer/fax.

Lee Ann: I think if you don't develop the fear as a child, you never will.

Phats: Thankfully, I don't suffer from the affliction. I can understand it, though.

Mike: Yeah .... that's GREAT ...

-- david

At March 06, 2007 6:05 PM, Blogger :P fuzzbox replied to my musings ...

I stand with Bruce. There is still hope.

At March 07, 2007 7:30 AM, Blogger On My Watch replied to my musings ...

I read about the clown shootings too, and wondered if there were big black X's across their eyes once they died. Do you think a van load of other clowns hauled ass over to them, put them on a stretcher, and then hauled ass to the hospital?

Um. If you could look that up for me and have it on my desk my Monday that would be greeeeeaaat. yeah.

At March 08, 2007 1:14 AM, Blogger Tai replied to my musings ...


At March 08, 2007 4:02 PM, Blogger Perplexio replied to my musings ...

Between this post on clowns and Phoenix's recent post on feral children... my mind is spinning.

All I can picture are feral clowns... clowns raised in the wild by apes...

But for some reason the only gag they find funny is the slipping on the banana peel...

Oh and could this fear of clowns have contributed to the success of the cult classic Killer Klowns from Outer Space?

At March 09, 2007 12:53 PM, Blogger David Amulet replied to my musings ...

Fuzz: Fight the good fight. Bands with clown makeup = creepy.

OMW: I've included my analysis of that in my TPS report. Please take note of the cover sheet.

Tai: *thanks*

Perplexio: Don't be silly. There are no clowns in the wild. All of nature's flora and fauna would unite to destroy them immediately.

-- david

At March 09, 2007 6:42 PM, Anonymous LisaBinDaCity replied to my musings ...

Gawd, I hate clowns! They creep me out

Check out my post, (listed under my favorites,) "And did you want fries with that" for the reason...

At March 10, 2007 11:38 PM, Blogger ChickyBabe replied to my musings ...

Har har! I hate clowns... they freak me out. I always give them the evil eye.

At March 17, 2007 8:42 AM, Blogger Janet replied to my musings ...

Someone else wrote about clowns not too long ago. In fact, I double checked the comments just in case it wasn't you. One day blends into the next lately, it seems.

I know a lot of people have a fear of clowns, mainly cause of Stephen King's It. But imagining being one of those people who finds out about a clown shooting? Unless there was water coming out of the gun, there's no getting rid of that fear now.


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