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Saturday, February 17, 2007

Misheard Lyrics, 90s Edition

Never let it be said that I don’t do requests.

I’m referring to the general pressure on me to post another installment of perhaps my most popular series, the Misheard Lyrics Cycle; I’ve put links to the previous episodes at the end of this post.

Today’s post became necessary as I caught myself singing along to one of my favorite 90s tunes, “Song 2” by Blur. Sources tell me that the first line of the song is:

“I got my head checked/By a jumbo jet”

But that didn’t stop me from always thinking that lead singer Damon Albarn was crooning to some mysterious friend named Shay, who he felt compelled to tell about his medical provider’s nontraditional services:

“I got my head shaved/By HMO, Shay”

Laugh all you want. I’m still confident Damon will announce that, indeed, these words were the real ones all along.

Here are some other lyrical disagreements from the Nineties …

Soundgarden, “Black Hole Sun”
Actual lyric: “In my eyes, indisposed, in disguise as no one knows”

My lyric: “In my eyes, in this pose, him despised as no one knows”

I don’t know about you … but when I’m striking a pose, and I see some other guy there … I just HATE him!

Stone Temple Pilots, “Dead and Bloated”
Actual lyric: “I am smellin’ like the rose that somebody gave me on my birthday deathbed”

My lyric: I am smellin’ like the rose that somebody gave me for my birthday cab fare”

Someday, SOMEDAY, I’ll finally find that one taxi that actually accepts a flower as payment—and you’ll see once and for all that MY words are right!!

Dave Matthews Band, “Don’t Drink the Water”
Actual lyric: “I live with my justice, and I live with my greed in me/I live with no mercy, and I live with my frenzy feet”

My lyric: “I live with my justice, and I live with my greed in me/I live with no mercy, and I live with my Fancy Feast”

No, I don’t like cats. I’ve never liked cats.

But dammit, Dave Matthews surely does. And rumor has it he’s always got gourmet cat food with him just in case any kittens come by …


Alanis Morissette, “You Outta Know”
Actual lyric: “Did you forget about me, Mister Duplicity?”

My lyric: “Did you forget about me, blister too … piss in tea?”

Think about it. What kind of a freak gets dumped and nicknames her ex-boyfriend “Mr. Duplicity?!?”

It’s clearly more likely that Alanis is saying that this creep forgot about her, then forgot about her blister … and then just whipped it out and took a whiz in her glass o’ Lipton.

Clearly.


If you’ve misheard any words from 90s songs, let’s hear it. Please don’t let me be the only one afflicted with this disease.

Trust me—you don’t want me making up words for "Macarena."


Check out the first three Misheard Lyrics episodes here:
Don’t Come Around Hear No More
What Are Words For?
Misheard Lyrics, Christmas Edition

32 Comments:

At February 17, 2007 1:21 PM, Blogger Manic Mom replied to my musings ...

Hey David--thanks for stopping by Manic's--it's been a while.

Songs: How 'bout, Blinded by the light, wrapped up like a douche, you know the runner in the night? What the hell is that verse really saying? I always sing: Wrapped up like a douche!

And there was a song in the '80s--Oh yeah, Billy Squire... Stroke Me. I actually called the radio station back then, and asked the DJ if he was singing STROKE MAN or STROKE ME??? I still don't know the real answer.

Anyway, stop back at Manic's--I'm holding a contest and the prize may be musicially-inclined.

Good to hear from you!

 
At February 17, 2007 1:59 PM, Blogger Kay replied to my musings ...

From the 90s -- my favorite Bush song: Listerine (Glycerine). Actually, that's the only Bush song I remember.

 
At February 17, 2007 2:56 PM, Blogger dragonflyfilly replied to my musings ...

hah hah hhah hah hah, what a hoot,
but i think, like MY cat, you ought to have your ears checked! i wish this thing had sound so you could hear me laughing. (time to get a web cam with sound!)

cheers for now,
pj

 
At February 17, 2007 3:32 PM, Blogger On My Watch replied to my musings ...

funny! and I agree with Kay, and will add to that song the words, 'bathroom warrior'...

another I remember is from Beck. "I'm sore from head to toe, cause I'm a loser baby, so why don't you kill me?"

 
At February 18, 2007 12:05 AM, Blogger Gyrobo replied to my musings ...

I have never mustered any gongs in my life.

 
At February 18, 2007 11:41 AM, Blogger goldennib replied to my musings ...

I mis-hear words all the time but they are spontaneous ear farts so I can't remember them.

Yours are very funny and make more sense.

 
At February 18, 2007 11:57 AM, Blogger DaBich replied to my musings ...

LOL I'm dying here, good ones!

 
At February 18, 2007 12:09 PM, Blogger David Amulet replied to my musings ...

MM: Nice to see you back. "Blinded by the Light" is a misheard lyrics classic! I don't care if they insist it's "deuce."

DFF: There are many things I need to get checked.

OMW: Beck sings pretty clearly, but his lyrics are so odd that it's easy to make up different things.

Gyrobo: I'm gabberflasted!

GN: I don't know about funny ... but I have heard that pissing in tea is a good way to get back at your ex.

DaBich: Thanks. They'll be here all week.

-- david

 
At February 18, 2007 2:05 PM, Blogger Pixie replied to my musings ...

Hee Hee.

One of my cousins back in the 80's was convinced that the Ghostbuster lyrics were "When there's something strange in your mavis hood"
LOL- She was like 6 so I suppose thats a good enough excuse...

 
At February 18, 2007 2:15 PM, Blogger Grafs replied to my musings ...

I always thought I was making up words to "Rock the Casbah". As it turns out, I was right.

 
At February 18, 2007 8:44 PM, Blogger :P fuzzbox replied to my musings ...

If Alanis' boyfriend was pissed at her it would be far better to piss in her tea than in her shampoo bottle. She would have never touched that.

 
At February 18, 2007 11:46 PM, Anonymous BarBarA replied to my musings ...

You are too funny - these were great. LOL to Graf's comment too!

 
At February 19, 2007 12:39 AM, Anonymous Leah replied to my musings ...

Blister too, piss in tea?!! Hhahaha! That's awesome!!! My big misheard lyrics were from "Sister Christian", "Love Bites" by Def Leppard, and "Rock you like a Hurricane".

 
At February 19, 2007 3:13 AM, Blogger ChickyBabe replied to my musings ...

I thought you were going to say Fancy Feet!

 
At February 19, 2007 8:40 AM, Blogger Mike replied to my musings ...

LOL.....too funny. As a kid I thought The chorus to the Doobie Brothers - "Minute by Minute" was "Oompa, Loompa". I guess I saw Willy Wonka too many times.

 
At February 19, 2007 8:51 AM, Blogger The Phoenix replied to my musings ...

"I'm Gonna Be (500 Miles)" By the Proclaimers is a funny 90s song. The two lines, I swore they said "heaver."

"And if I heaver, yeah I know I'm gonna be, I'm gonna be the the man who's heavering to you."

Heaver = vomit.

I thought it was a misheard lyric, but it's NOT!

 
At February 19, 2007 9:42 AM, Blogger Stacy The Peanut Queen replied to my musings ...

Those are so funny!

I am SURE I know some 90's lyrics that are wrong...I'll have to think about it and get back to you! :)

(Translation: It's WAY too damn early and I need more caffeine!!!) ;)

 
At February 19, 2007 9:58 AM, Blogger David Amulet replied to my musings ...

Pixie: If being six years old is a good excuse, then what excuse do I have?

Grafs: That's how I was with Duran Duran songs. In "The Reflex," I was convinced Simon was saying, "I sold the Renoir and the TV set," but that was just too crazy, wasn't it. Well, it was right.

Fuzz: Maybe the piss shampoo would've helped.

Barbara: Funny, perhaps. But sad more than anything else, I fear.

Leah: The Scorpions have a few of those. Klaus needed to enunciate better.

-- david

 
At February 19, 2007 10:05 AM, Blogger David Amulet replied to my musings ...

CB: Maybe I head "fancy feat" first, but once you get cat food on the brain it's hard to get rid of it.

Mike: "Oompa Loompa" is probably the misheard lyric in many songs. I seem to recall hearing it in "Stairway to Heaven," "Hey Jude," and "Won't Get Fooled Again." (Then again, I have an active imagination.)

Phoenix: Any band that sings in their native accents is prime material for misheard lyrics ... or just odd words.

PQ: Caffeine, I've heard, spurs misheard lyrics. It certainly worked on me in the 90s.

-- david

 
At February 19, 2007 12:13 PM, Blogger Lee Ann replied to my musings ...

That is great!

My personal fav of yours:
“I live with my justice, and I live with my greed in me/I live with no mercy, and I live with my Fancy Feast”

 
At February 19, 2007 2:59 PM, Blogger Godwhacker replied to my musings ...

"I live with my Fancy Feast" ~ great! Now my cats a rocker.

 
At February 19, 2007 8:09 PM, Blogger Ray Van Horn, Jr. replied to my musings ...

God, that was funny. At least there'd be no mistaking Soundgarden's lyrics to "Big Dumb Sex!"

 
At February 20, 2007 6:11 PM, Blogger Jeff replied to my musings ...

I read an earlier comment saying someone thought Bush's "Glycerine" was called "Listerine." That's funny because my girlfriend always though it was "Kiss the Rain."

 
At February 21, 2007 9:41 AM, Blogger Lee Ann replied to my musings ...

Happy day! ;)

 
At February 21, 2007 1:10 PM, Blogger Tai replied to my musings ...

How 'bout,
"Hey there, Tony Danza" instead of "Hold me closer tiny dancer."
Kinda sound like something Sir John would say, no?

 
At February 21, 2007 5:22 PM, Blogger David Amulet replied to my musings ...

Lee Ann: Happy returns to you. The Fancy Feast one seems to be hitting a chord.

GW: Better a rockin' cat than cat in Iraq.

Ray: Thanks--I appreciate it. Good point on Soundgarden, too.

Jeff: Funny about that ... every time I hear Billie Myers' "Kiss the Rain" I swear she's saying "glycerine."

Tai: Something tells me that Elton would be just fine being held by Tony Danza, too.

-- david

 
At February 22, 2007 3:40 PM, Blogger Fated replied to my musings ...

I remember hearing Bullet With Butterfly Wings by Smashing Pumpkins for the first couple times and wondering what

"Despite all my rage I'm still just ready to cage" meant..

All this time later it turns out they were saying "Despite all my rage I'm still just a rat in a cage."

And I definitely can not explain the disappointment experienced when I learned the actual lyrics to Banditos by the Refreshments. I think I always wanted it to be a love song.

 
At February 22, 2007 3:47 PM, Blogger Paige Burns replied to my musings ...

I'm with Golden, I pretty much hum to music because I'm horrible at remembering lyrics let alone hearing them!

I loved the thought of you posing pissed, very Zoolander!

Oh, stop by on Monday for a special David surprise! ;)

 
At February 26, 2007 9:22 PM, Blogger Janet replied to my musings ...

My favorite Alanis misheard lyric is the same song, different part.

The cross I bear that you gave to me.

My roommmate thought it was the cross-eyed bear that you gave to me.

Her other one was TLC's Waterfalls.

Instead of don't go chasing waterfalls she thought it was,

Don't go Jason, water falls.

Ahh the difference a little word or two can make.:)

 
At February 28, 2007 7:11 AM, Blogger JP replied to my musings ...

'I'm a lardo, and I'll bind you, I must quit you, my lip eat dough'.

See if you can spot this one. I thought maybe the singer had serious body weigh issues, even though he was so skinny. And the last line would fit in with his obsession with feeling bad for making more money than all the bands he loved!

 
At February 28, 2007 6:30 PM, Blogger David Amulet replied to my musings ...

Fated: Yes, "ready to cage" is damn odd. Then agian, who am I to say that?!?

Paige: Thanks for the surprise. You make me feel so ... special.

Janet: Little do you know that cross-eyed bears are the curse of Alanis's native Quebec!

JP: Kurt never sang clearly enough in that song for anyone to know what he was saying. Weird Al captured that perfectly in his parody--which he sang part of with his mouth so stuffed he couldn't pronounce anything.

-- david

 
At March 12, 2007 2:03 PM, Blogger dragonflyfilly replied to my musings ...

back again! - yeah, i know, you say douche, i say deuce etc.

but here is one i have been struggling with for ages:
Informer by Snow: goes something like: "i lick your bum bum" WHAT? please let me know you hear something different!

cheers for now,
pj

 

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