Misheard Lyrics, 90s Edition
Never let it be said that I don’t do requests.
I’m referring to the general pressure on me to post another installment of perhaps my most popular series, the Misheard Lyrics Cycle; I’ve put links to the previous episodes at the end of this post.
Today’s post became necessary as I caught myself singing along to one of my favorite 90s tunes, “Song 2” by Blur. Sources tell me that the first line of the song is:
“I got my head checked/By a jumbo jet”
But that didn’t stop me from always thinking that lead singer Damon Albarn was crooning to some mysterious friend named Shay, who he felt compelled to tell about his medical provider’s nontraditional services:
“I got my head shaved/By HMO, Shay”
Laugh all you want. I’m still confident Damon will announce that, indeed, these words were the real ones all along.
Here are some other lyrical disagreements from the Nineties …
Soundgarden, “Black Hole Sun”
Actual lyric: “In my eyes, indisposed, in disguise as no one knows”
My lyric: “In my eyes, in this pose, him despised as no one knows”
I don’t know about you … but when I’m striking a pose, and I see some other guy there … I just HATE him!
Stone Temple Pilots, “Dead and Bloated”
Actual lyric: “I am smellin’ like the rose that somebody gave me on my birthday deathbed”
My lyric: I am smellin’ like the rose that somebody gave me for my birthday cab fare”
Someday, SOMEDAY, I’ll finally find that one taxi that actually accepts a flower as payment—and you’ll see once and for all that MY words are right!!
Dave Matthews Band, “Don’t Drink the Water”
Actual lyric: “I live with my justice, and I live with my greed in me/I live with no mercy, and I live with my frenzy feet”
My lyric: “I live with my justice, and I live with my greed in me/I live with no mercy, and I live with my Fancy Feast”
No, I don’t like cats. I’ve never liked cats.
But dammit, Dave Matthews surely does. And rumor has it he’s always got gourmet cat food with him just in case any kittens come by …
Alanis Morissette, “You Outta Know”
Actual lyric: “Did you forget about me, Mister Duplicity?”
My lyric: “Did you forget about me, blister too … piss in tea?”
Think about it. What kind of a freak gets dumped and nicknames her ex-boyfriend “Mr. Duplicity?!?”
It’s clearly more likely that Alanis is saying that this creep forgot about her, then forgot about her blister … and then just whipped it out and took a whiz in her glass o’ Lipton.
If you’ve misheard any words from 90s songs, let’s hear it. Please don’t let me be the only one afflicted with this disease.
Trust me—you don’t want me making up words for "Macarena."
Check out the first three Misheard Lyrics episodes here:
Don’t Come Around Hear No More
What Are Words For?
Misheard Lyrics, Christmas Edition