Misheard Lyrics, Christmas Edition
It’s no surprise to many of you that I’m a fan of the misheard lyrics.
I’ve had a few doozies in my day, as I wrote about
back in March. These variations of well-known lyrics occur just about everywhere you turn.
Including Christmas songs.
When much younger, I came up with all kinds of creative alternatives to the season’s carols. Take for example, my mutilation of “We Wish You a Merry Christmas.” First, here are what I am told are the actual words:
We wish you a Merry Christmas
We wish you a Merry Christmas
We wish you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year
Good tidings we bring to you and your kin
Good tidings for Christmas and a Happy New Year
Yet as a child, I found myself always slipping this line in the middle:
Good tidings we bring to you and your thing
Take that however you want it. Psychologists would have a field day with me, I know.
And deep down in my brain, I know that lyrics for the old classic “White Christmas” go something like:
I’m dreaming of a white Christmas
With every Christmas card I write
May your days be merry and bright
And may all your Christmases be white
But, as much as my family hated it, I always song it as:
I’m dreaming of a white Christmas
With every Christmas card I sort
May your days be numbered and short
And may you spend all your Christmases in court
For some reason I haven’t figured out yet, I wasn’t allowed to sing with the other carolers. Go figure.
Then there are the religious songs I butchered. Take, for example, “Away in a Manger:”
Away in a manger, no crib for a bed
The little Lord Jesus laid down His sweet head
Churches nationwide banned me for my version:
Away in a manger, no crib for a bed
The little Lord Jesus laid down His meathead
But let’s focus on what matters. It’s the spirit of the season, not the specific verbiage of some silly songs, that’s truly important.
Just sing from your heart, spread the cheer, and enjoy the season. Don’t be one of those judgmental holier-than-thou types who mock creative children who make up their own Christmas lyrics.
In other words, don’t be a meathead.
posted by David Amulet @ 9:07 PM
24 wisecracks
24 Comments:
haha nice I laughed at your versions I think they were better. Of course nothing tops Bart Simpson's version of Jingle Bells!
I much prefer your versions of these songs. When will your CD be released?
Jesus has a meathead? Lightning is going to strike you where you stand!
You know what all these Christmas songs need?
MORE COWBELL!
Your interpretation is more fun than the originals.
Hubby said we had carollers on our porch last night. I missed it.
I've always protested lyrics, and words in general.
LOL!! I just love when people sing a song and it's completely off!! It cracks me up!
I think it's creative on your part.
David Amulet sings all the Christmas classics, this CD can be yours for just three easy payment's of $19.99.
I can think of no better greeting than to wish a persons thing a Merry Christmas.
May your days be numbered and short...hahahaha. truly heartwarming. I'll never sing that song the same way again.
I used to think that one song said, "later on, we'll perspire, as we sit by the fire." oh what's the name of that song? Walking in a Wiccan Wonderland?
Phats: I find it hard to compete with a cartoon character. I tried once as a kid and, as a result, to this day I can't stand the Schmoo.
Curare, Cinderella, Jeff: My holiday CD will be sold as part of a 2-CD set, along with Donald Rumsfeld Sings the Christmas Blues.
Phoenix: I think every holiday manger scene should have one of the three wise men playing the cowbell.
KC: I'm sorry you missed it--you could have tried out my lyrics on 'em.
Gyrobo: In the immortal words of Michael Hutchence, "Words as weapons/Sharper than knives."
Fuzz: I had a hunch you wouldn't mind that one. Too bad I keep this blog clean--you should hear my version of "Silver Balls."
OMW: I don't think my mother ever yelled at me as loudly as when I sang that version of "White Christmas."
-- david
Merry Christmas to you... and your thing ;-)
Oh see now I need to know your version of Silver Bells.
I make it a habit of wishing things Good tidings.
Good Tidings!
"In other words, don’t be a meathead."
Or a bonehead neither!
I second the request for your rendition of Silver Bells.
This is only peripherally related, but is it just me or does the term "Yule Log" elicit giggles from you as well? For some unfortunate reason it conjures mental images of Herr & Frau Claus "en flagrante delicto." (PLEASE GOD, MAKE IT STOP!)
I am looking forward to JC's birthday party though. I hear he's got a mad-crazy party trick where he turns water into wine... You just might want to go easy on the Oregano on your pizza and pasta dishes after the party though... I hear the Fire marshal gets to sit next to him again this year... something about having 2006 candles being a "fire hazard." But man, dude looks good for being over 2 millenia old.
I thought Jesus laid down his metalhead...
hahaha....those are great.
I think the reason is that people don't sing their lyrics Clearly!
It's not your fault....well spend all your Christmases in court...hmmmm....haha
Have a great week!
Merry Christmas!
~xo
My Mom always thought that the pledge of allegiance ended with "and justice frog" instead of "and justice for all". Kids are just funny like that.
No, no Silver Bells here ... but my thing is fine, thank you very much.
Lisa B: "Bonehead" never occured ot me, I don't know why.
Paige: I forgot about that one, but since it's not one I made up myself as a kid, I guess I wouldn't have included it anyway.
Perplexio: You're not alone: the word "Yule" is just odd, but it does open up many fun pun possibilities. I'm sure yule agree.
Fred: If I would have been a metal fan at the age of four, I surely would have used "metalhead" instead.
Lee Ann: Yes, I'll be happy to blame it on others. Merry Christmas to you, too!
Grafs: That's one I've never heard. Thanks for adding to my list.
-- david
I like your words much better.
Happy Holidays!
Misheard lyrics are the best. I love the phone commercial where they sing the lyrics to Rock the Casbah.
hahahaaa, U remind me of ME!!!
Have a Great Christmas, and may the New Year be much better!
: )
I will never hear White Christmas the same again! Haha, I got a good chuckle out of that. :)
Merry Christmas!
Methinks you've forgotten the classic "Jingle Bells, Batman Smells."
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