The Time is Right
All good things must come to an end.
And all silly things, too. Like an 80-something-year-old hosting a game show.
It’s the biggest news from last week, overwhelming North Korea’s return to six-party talks about its nuclear program. It’s more stunning than the announcement of a space shuttle mission to repair the Hubble Space Telescope. And bigger than the revelation of indirect negotiations between Israel and Hezbollah.
Bob Barker will step down as host of TV’s “The Price Is Right” next June after 35 years at the show’s helm. And it’s about time: He began his television career hosting “Truth of Consequences” back in 1956.
That means he’s been on TV longer than “ER,” “Law and Order,” and “The Simpsons.”
The looming retirement of this Adam Sandler-punching, gray hair-gelling, “have your pets spayed or neutered”-saying octogenarian may do us all some good by spurring these other, long-overdue retirements:
Rod Stewart: Back in the day, way back, you were a rocker, lending your voice to great classic rock songs like “Stay With Me” and “Every Picture Tells a Story.” Then came disco. And 80s pop. And, more recently, schlock from the 40s and 50s.
You couldn’t hold on to Rachel Hunter, and now you’ve lost your marbles. Hey, Rod—it’s time to retire.
Teddy Kennedy: You’re pushing 75 but still taking up a potentially productive seat in the U.S. Senate. I guess you’re trying to provide a precise answer to what I thought was a rhetorical question: How long can you milk the family legacy?
Maybe you’re trying to stay in the Senate until you can take a flying car into the waters off Chappaquiddick. Hey, Ted—it’s time to retire.
Stephen Colbert: Why are you hosting a show on Comedy Central? Your sights are set way too low. With your keen observations, acerbic wit, and good fashion sense, you should be doing bigger, better things than broadcasting.
You’d be one hell of a campaigner. Hey, Stephen—it’s time to retire … and run for Congress!
Maybe you can run against Teddy.