Sunday, October 29, 2006

The Italian Job

It’s close to election time, and that means it’s time to complain about the US Congress.

These days, everybody is bitching and moaning about our elected representatives. Either they are doing too little—like avoiding any meaningful action on true national priorities—or doing too much, like when it comes to underage Hill pages.

But I’m going to buck the trend and instead address some other country’s legislature. And that country, dear readers, is Italy.

We thought we had big problems in Washington. We were wrong.

According to Reuters, the Italian parliament is abuzz over a question that, to the best of my knowledge, has yet to afflict our Congress: Where exactly do “transgendered” politicians go when they need to use the restroom?.

Here’s the story. Vladimir Luxuria, who was born male 40 years ago, is a transvestite, preferring life as a female. But born-feminine lawmaker Elisabetha Gardini didn’t appreciate seeing Vlad in the women’s room on Friday, and the ruckus that ensued has involved the parliament’s speaker.

The center-right members of the august body are requesting the construction of a third bathroom for transgendered representatives—which, right now, is a club with only one member.

So to speak.

So what’s the answer? Should he/she use the men’s room or the women’s room? Perhaps a practical solution would be to do what most of us have always done when we really need to use the facilities but our “own” room isn’t available: we ask someone to post watch.

Guarding the door is simple. It’s efficient. It’s a hell of a lot cheaper for Italian taxpayers than building a new third bathroom.

And it sets a good precedent for when Ru Paul runs for Congress.


At October 29, 2006 10:28 PM, Blogger Andy replied to my musings ...

Build a new restroom, no no tear down the wall between the restrooms. Come on people are we uniters or dividers. I'm sure that would be a solution to peease everyone.

At October 29, 2006 11:50 PM, Blogger X. Dell replied to my musings ...

Um, I would assume that the Italian Parliament has more important issues. A host of accomodations can be made for a fellow member (so to speak).

At October 30, 2006 4:01 AM, Blogger goldennib replied to my musings ...

Man, oh, man. No...woman, oh, woman. No...oh, holy shit. Jeez. Wait a second...This pisses me off. Um, don't they have better things to do than worry about this crap?

At October 30, 2006 5:50 AM, Blogger DaBich replied to my musings ...

I wasLOL Goldie!
David, I have a friend who was a guy and is becoming a woman. He was married and has two kids, and one grandchild. He came to visit us two years ago BEFORE he started his change treatments. He moved and we don't see him/her anymore. Poor confused person has a good heart tho. Sweet, very sweet. What goes thru people's minds???
Oh, and She/he drives a truck now for a living. As a woman. Go figure lol.

At October 30, 2006 6:16 AM, Blogger Ben Heller replied to my musings ...

Has he had his member removed David, or does he dress to the centre left, or centre right ?

Guess they can't call him Vlad the Impaler anymore.

That was pasta joke, they're gonna stick me in the penne for that.

At October 30, 2006 8:28 AM, Blogger Mike replied to my musings ...

I think this should be a non issue within a government. They should be worrying about other things. To solve the problem, make one bathroom a unisex bathroom, where anyone can use it.

At October 30, 2006 9:43 AM, Blogger The Phoenix replied to my musings ...

They should go the Ally McBeal route and just have one unisex restroom.

At October 30, 2006 12:38 PM, Blogger KC replied to my musings ...

I also vote for the unisex restroom. Problem solved.

At October 30, 2006 3:32 PM, Anonymous Bruce replied to my musings ...

Where's Renee Richards when you need her/him?

At October 30, 2006 3:34 PM, Blogger :P fuzzbox replied to my musings ...

Port a Potty is the answer. They should have them for congress here as well. I would love the oppertunity to knock an occupied one over and coat someone in the stuff they are spouting.

At October 30, 2006 3:57 PM, Blogger Metal Mark replied to my musings ...

Former King Kobra/Signal/Unruly Child singer Mark Free had a sex change and now goes by the name of Marcie Free. So he/she has recorded albums as both genders.

At October 30, 2006 4:38 PM, Blogger David Amulet replied to my musings ...

Andy: I like your Pink Floyd/Ronald Reagan solution--tear down the wall!

X. Dell: It seems the Italian legislators get distracted by minor issues as much as the US ones.

GoldenNib: I got lost, too. Isn't it easier when we're either simply men or simply women?

DaBich: You've got some interesting friends. Are any of them in Italy's parliament?

Ben: You are master of words. Puppets, also, perhaps ... but certainly words.

Mike: Glad to know I'm not the only one who has some common sense.

Phoenix, KC: Does that mean that Rome will be beisieged by sightings of dancing CG babies?

Bruce: Maybe Boy George could shed some light on all this, too.

Fuzz: You're making a big assumption that most members of Congress are potty-trained.

Mark: I had forgotten about that. And now you've ruined it!

-- david

At October 30, 2006 6:33 PM, Blogger Mike replied to my musings ...

Have none of you been to Italy? First, we can't just have the member (ha ha) have someone post watch, as in Italy, that would require the services of at least 40 people. Build another restroom? Far less complicated. Unisex restroom? Unthinkable. If you've ever worked on Italian cars or raced them as I have, you'll understand entirely what I mean. Besides, it all related to how long the member is in office. If your roof leaks in Italy, they can't fix it because it's the rainy season. Once it's the dry season they can't fix it because they don't know where the leaks are.

At October 31, 2006 7:31 AM, Blogger OnMyWatch replied to my musings ...

I just want to know what the picture on the door would look like. A little girl with an adam's apple and size 12 shoes?

At October 31, 2006 11:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous replied to my musings ...


I so do not want to think about that ;-)

Happy Halloween David!


At October 31, 2006 4:17 PM, Blogger Stacy The Peanut Queen replied to my musings ...

Ru Paul! Haven't thought of him (her?) in years! ;)

At October 31, 2006 10:32 PM, Blogger Gyrobo replied to my musings ...

As someone who has made a career out of opposing public restrooms, I'm against any action here.

People need to learn to go before they leave the house.

At October 31, 2006 10:51 PM, Blogger Paige Burns replied to my musings ...

Did you see how much money they spend on toilet paper alone? Imagine if they had to add another bathroom to that!

At November 01, 2006 5:59 AM, Blogger DaBich replied to my musings ...

LOL no he couldn't be so lucky LOL

At November 01, 2006 6:22 AM, Blogger David Amulet replied to my musings ...

Mike: Italian efficiency ... I doubt they'd get the third bathroom built in time, anyway.

OMW: They would simply put up the cover of a Culture Club album.

Lisa: I guess it was kind of a Halloween theme after all, huh? Same to you!

Stacy: Thankfully, I hadn't thought of him/her in years, too ... until I saw this story.

Gyrobo: Not a bad idea. You're not a shareholder in Depends undergarments, by any chance?

Paige: Maybe the MPs need a lesson in how to use TP.

DaBich: I thought not. But I just had to ask!

== david

At November 01, 2006 7:25 AM, Blogger Beth replied to my musings ...

Ru Paul would SO get my vote.

At November 01, 2006 1:27 PM, Blogger Godwhacker replied to my musings ...

One of the cool things about most gay-bars is that you simply use the room with the shortest line. Give people their privacy and treat all with respect and everybody gets along. Sex is something for the privacy of a hotel room, or at least the dance floor.

At November 02, 2006 8:54 AM, Blogger Curare_Z replied to my musings ...

I side with gyrobo. Public restrooms are icky.

So, I'm thinking Depends is the best answer. Shut down all of the restrooms and install Diapergenies in every office.....

At November 02, 2006 1:49 PM, Blogger Lee Ann replied to my musings ...

Vladimir Luxuria is definitely an interesting character!

Have a wonderful day!

At November 03, 2006 2:28 AM, Blogger Phats replied to my musings ...

I am so ready for the election to be over, I am sick of having to watch these retarded commercials

At November 03, 2006 8:54 AM, Blogger David Amulet replied to my musings ...

Beth: I can think of worse candidates. Better ones, too, of course.

GW: Good point. Can't we all just get along?

Curare: Very creepy--don't those things reek after a while??

Lee Ann: I'm sure he/she is. I didn't bother to take the time to look for a picture ... I'm glad I didn't.

Phats: I'm with you. The annoyance from the ads is only matched by your Boilermakers' offense. Good luck vs. Michigan State!

-- david

At November 03, 2006 5:34 PM, Blogger Phats replied to my musings ...

hahaha!! we need luck or to find out if our Offense was put in witness protection for it's own safety?

At November 04, 2006 7:19 PM, Blogger An80sNut replied to my musings ...

I kinda like the idea of single bathrooms that lock from the inside. If they wished to add a few of those, it could cut out some of the problem. I could not judge morally whether a person born one sex should always be forced to use that bathroom. But I think it's well worth the debate.


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