The Italian Job

It’s close to election time, and that means it’s time to complain about the US Congress.

These days, everybody is bitching and moaning about our elected representatives. Either they are doing too little—like avoiding any meaningful action on true national priorities—or doing too much, like when it comes to underage Hill pages.

But I’m going to buck the trend and instead address some other country’s legislature. And that country, dear readers, is Italy.

We thought we had big problems in Washington. We were wrong.

According to Reuters, the Italian parliament is abuzz over a question that, to the best of my knowledge, has yet to afflict our Congress: Where exactly do “transgendered” politicians go when they need to use the restroom?.

Here’s the story. Vladimir Luxuria, who was born male 40 years ago, is a transvestite, preferring life as a female. But born-feminine lawmaker Elisabetha Gardini didn’t appreciate seeing Vlad in the women’s room on Friday, and the ruckus that ensued has involved the parliament’s speaker.

The center-right members of the august body are requesting the construction of a third bathroom for transgendered representatives—which, right now, is a club with only one member.

So to speak.

So what’s the answer? Should he/she use the men’s room or the women’s room? Perhaps a practical solution would be to do what most of us have always done when we really need to use the facilities but our “own” room isn’t available: we ask someone to post watch.

Guarding the door is simple. It’s efficient. It’s a hell of a lot cheaper for Italian taxpayers than building a new third bathroom.

And it sets a good precedent for when Ru Paul runs for Congress.