Shake, Rock, and Roll
Strange things are afoot in Ohio.
Suburban Cleveland in particular has been experiencing something odd. Every couple of weeks, folks there feel a tremor.
And it’s not just horror upon realizing they live across a narrow body of water from the war-mongering Canadian hordes.
In fact, Lake County is Ohio’s earthquake headquarters. With a trembling about every two weeks since the start of the year, the ground there is shaking more than Shakira’s ass.
Quakes have measured up to magnitude 3.8, enough unsettle some residents. Seismologists know that there is a fault down below causing all this, but they can’t figure out why the earth is rocking and rolling so often lately.
I’ll be the first to admit I’m no earthquake expert. It seems obvious, however, to point our fingers at the menace lurking just a few miles away in Cleveland.
The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame and Museum.
I think the earth itself is revolting against the Hall of Fame’s tendency to shun deserving artists from admittance. Performers become eligible 25 years after releasing their first LPs, so any artist that put an album out in 1981 or earlier could be honored.
Recently, KISS fans protested in Cleveland because the group continues to linger outside the hall after been eligible for more than five years. And they have a point—many worthy artists have been passed over for some questionable ones.
Let’s look at the record.
Deep Purple, despite widening the scope of hard rock and helping create metal music, remains absent. But the Hall and Fame does include Clyde McPhatter.
King Crimson, Yes, and Genesis, despite defining progressive rock in the 1970s and—for Yes and Genesis—finding huge commercial success in the 1980s, remain absent. But the Hall and Fame does include The Lovin’ Spoonful.
Rush, despite mixing complex music with compelling lyrics and setting a high standard for the genre, remains absent. But the Hall and Fame does include Frankie Lyman & The Teenagers.
Journey, despite selling more than 45 million albums in the United States alone and topping the charts throughout the 80s, remains absent. But the Hall of Fame does include Little Willie John.
Van Halen, despite laying the foundation for most of 80s rock and giving us some of the best riffs of all time, remains absent. But the Hall and Fame does include Bob Wills & His Texas Playboys.
Maybe these earthquakes would fade if the hall focused on these worthy artists. The Cleveland area could be spared the danger of a more serious tremor.
And if not, at least the new inductees will give everyone some good vibrations.