Bluff in the Buff
There are countless ways to have fun in life. And many of them are better naked.
I’ve even heard—make sure you’re sitting down, folks—that you can find pictures of some bare-skinned activities on this “Internet” thing everyone keeps talking about. (Who knew? Here I thought the Web was only for the exchange of scientific knowledge. And for blogging, of course.)
One particularly well-established naked pastime is about to rise to a new level. That’s right, strip poker is hitting the big time: an Irish bookmaker plans the world’s largest game later this month in London. Originally planned for 100 men and 100 women, the championship may expand due to greater-than-expected interest.
Maybe this trend will spread to the following pastimes:
Wrestling: The sport can return to its ancient Greek origins. Back then, wrestlers competed without clothes—and covered in olive oil.
I’m not sure I really want to see modern wrestlers naked, but it would have one public service benefit: kids would see all too clearly the shrunken-testicle consequences of steroids and just say “no.”
Soccer: With the limited popularity of soccer in this country, we need to do something to get fans into stadiums. Most women I know would pay big bucks to see Real Madrid’s David Beckham, for example, running around uncovered for a couple of hours.
Yes, it’s “soccer,” not “football.” I’m American.
Air travel: There’s no reason—other than fluctuating cabin temperatures and dirty seats, both of which airlines surely can control better—to wear clothes on an airplane. Most importantly, in light of today’s news, flying in the buff would foil terrorists trying to smuggle explosives onto aircraft.
Logic is on my side. Maybe I’ll get this idea started on my next flight.
Do you think I’m bluffing?