Shot Full of Rock
You probably enjoy your occasional cup of joe. But how do you feel about a cup of Gene, Paul, Ace, and Peter?
That’s right—it’s now even easier to rock and roll all night with the caffeine buzz you’ll get at the KISS Coffeehouse in Myrtle Beach, South Carolina.
KISS bass player and frequent lead singer Gene Simmons is no stranger to marketing. He has managed to get the KISS logo on everything from comic books to condoms, from underwear to coffins.
And now, he says, it’s time for the KISS faithful to have their own refreshments. So step right up and order your French Kiss Vanilla, Demon Dark Roast, or Kiss Frozen Rockuccunio.
Yes, these drinks really are on the menu.
We may be seeing a new trend; keep your eyes open for these upcoming musician-themed food-and-drink specialty shops:
Clay Aiken: Cheese
Slayer: Devil’s Food Cake
Scott Weiland of Velvet Revolver: Coke
Lars Ulrich of Metallica: Danish
Country Music Association: Crackers
Tommy Lee of Mötley Crüe: Sausage
Britney Spears and Jessica Simpson: Pop tarts
posted by David Amulet @ 8:47 PM
29 wisecracks
29 Comments:
I may have to travel down to Myrtle Beach just to have a French Kiss Vanilla! Tommy Lee Sausage, Scott Weiland Coke - you have a great sense of wit. :)
Hehe I love the Britney Spears and Jessica Simpson one!
You're right on with the pop tarts!
LOL! Good one Amulet. American Idol is going to capitalize on this idea of yours, you just watch.
Pop tarts....LOL! Love it.
I'm looking forward to the opening of the Nirvana Funeral Parlor.
I am not familiar with Clay Aiken so I don't know if "cheese" fits or not, but since you say so, I'm sure it's exactly the right product for the right celebrity.
Love the pop tarts!
Gene, Gene, Gene! It's so hard to be a Kiss fan these days. The menu items are hilarious though.
you wanted the best - you got it, the hottest coffee in the world... :)
I wonder if you ordered a double- shot of espresso, would you have to say "Deuce"? And when the baristas relayed the orders to each other would they have to shout it out loud?
I guess a little cold gin wouldn't be so bad, as long as they didn't spill it in my lap. But then again, all they'd have to do is lick it up. No lawsuits here. :)
Enjoyed your post!
Seems like the pop tarts are the crowd favorites.
OMW: You have my compliments on taking the KISS references to a new level. You sure know somethin' about the band!
-- david
Wow...a Kiss coffeeshop. That's Twilight Zone stuff right there.
How about:
J Lo: Honey buns
Elton John: Fruity Pebbles
Michael Jackson: Fruit Roll Ups
Lindsey Lohan and Nicole Ritchie: Ribs
yes, yes, I do but I can't relay those stories until everyone who knows me dies. ;)
Pamela Anderson could always open up a Tupperware store..
OMG! I'm howling here! lol
Vanilla Ice: ice cream;
Ice-T: Uhhh...iced tea?
Pussycat Dolls: estrogen treatments;
Johnny Cash Estate: ATM machines
Vanilla Fudge: lubricant
Britney Spears: Cheese puffs and condoms that leak;
David Hasselhoff: Embalming fluid. Wrecking balls to tear down walls, a la Berlin. (Okay--that sucked. I'm scraping now, so I give up...)
I didn't know this when I made my smartassed comments, but Ice-T will produce Hasselhoff's next album.
Products:
Iced-T KITT.
Pimpwatch.
Berlin Wall "Ho Stroll" Talking "Trap" Car.
Waterproof Lifeguard Glock 9-millimeter.
Etc....
what about a kurt cobain psycho sandwich?
I bet that place is cool...
What do you think Trent Reznor eats? How about Bono (angel food cake, probably.)
Michael Bolton: Shot of homo milk.
Prince: Cream.
Nelly Furtado: Pork and Cheese.
Denis Rodman: Prince Albert.
Melissa Ethridge: Diesel Fuel.
MNM: Chocolate M&M
P Diddy: Big Guns.
K-Fed: Panty Remover.
K.D Lang: Carpet Muncher.
Celine Dion: Viagra.
Madonna: (2 selections): Bloody Mary Or Virgin Mary.
De La Soul: Filet O Fish.
Pink: Canoe.
Addendum:
Dennis Rodman, because we all know he will cut a record sooner or later.
Pop Tarts! That was good!!
Phonenix's "Ribs" is also right on the money!
rofl! Very funny.
Visiting for the first time and I've enjoyed it. I'm with the majority about the Pop tarts!
Hahaaa...
and what will they have for
Boy George...
'whipped espresso'
;]
David ! I can always count on your for a good laugh ! Your mind is a dangerous place, I can just TELL !
hahahahah
Mmmmm! Demon Dark Roast sounds yummy.
Can I get that with whip cream? :)
Doesn't Gene have a show on A&E now? I'm pretty sure he does. Him and his tongue...who knew?
Gene Simmons: Extra-large, jumbo cunnilingus latex dental dams. Unabridged, 40,000-Listing Black Book.
JEAN Simmons" "So Long at the Fair"-Antacid; "Give Us the Moon"-Buttwax/Exfoliant; "Black Narcissus"-Vanity Mirror.
Richard Simmons: Doo Wop Marathon/Motown Reuinion "Oldies" Concert Anti-Perspirant.
hate to be the naysayer - but "pop tarts" may be the most oft used phrase when describing Brittney in print "Jon Stewart".
CMA=crackers.
not that's comedy!
Post a Comment
<< Home