A Mammoth Deception
Some of you lie about your age. Occasionally, you might fib about your weight or your income.
Maybe—shame on you—you even misrepresent your sexual history.
But most of you don’t deceive private and government donors by diverting nearly $1 million in funds earmarked for legitimate scientific research into side projects, like attempts to clone mammoths.
Clearly, you’re not South Korean scientist Hwang Woo-suk.
Stem cell and cloning expert Woo-suk was on top of the world in 2003 and 2004. That was before news surfaced last year that his stunning cloning “successes” rested on doctored data. He now finds himself in court, fighting charges that he bought human eggs illegally and used research money for personal expenses.
And Woo-suk’s defense—yes, his defense—rests on his claim that instead of gaining personally from the misspent money, he used it to finance experiments to bring back the mammoth from glacier-preserved cells.
You might enjoy seeing a mammoth the next time you go the zoo. But surely there are better things to bring back from the past.
Music fans would love to see the artists they never had a chance to thanks to the grim reaper. Let’s bring back John Lennon, George Harrison, John Bonham, Jim Morrison, Keith Moon, John Entwistle, and Freddie Mercury and have one hell of a rock and roll reunion show, featuring The Beatles, Led Zeppelin, The Who, The Doors, and Queen.
Cloning Leonardo da Vinci seems like a no-brainer. We could resolve once and for all the debate over whether he was hiding secret messages in his works.
Da Vinci’s engineering skills would even prove useful as we tackles some of the greatest reconstruction projects of our time. Like Iraq. And Lebanon. And M. Night Shyamalan’s career after the dreadful opening weekend of Lady in the Water.
Wouldn’t it be nice to replicate some of our best leaders of the past to help us now? Step forward George Washington, Teddy Roosevelt, and Andrew Jackson.
Not so fast, James Buchanan. And you’d better stay back, too, Herbert Hoover.
Rest assured there’s one thing we aren’t likely to bring back, no matter how good this technology gets.
Hwang Woo-suk’s career.