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Thursday, June 08, 2006

The Sound of Music

Music plays a big role in my life.

My home stereo and car radio blast my favorite CDs or iTunes playlists virtually around the clock: when I wake up, on my way to work, at work, on the way home, and when I go to sleep.

I have a hard time imagining life without music. And I don’t like what I see when I actually DO imagine it. In the words of Autograph, the “Turn Up the Radio” one-hit wonder: “The only time I turn it down / Is when I’m sleepin' it off.”

But even my near obsession pales in comparison to some the wise-asses in Scotland, who have literally taken their love of song to new heights.

According to USA Today online, authorities last month discovered a nearly intact piano on top of Britain’s tallest peak, Ben Nevis. Best they can tell, some climbers scaled the 4,000-foot peak with the piano and left the unbroken cast iron frame and functioning strings behind.

Mystery solved, if you’re looking for the “easy” answer. But perhaps, just perhaps, the culprits are NOT mountain climbers with a love of the ivories and good exercise.

I have another theory. What if a race of super-beings, some musical geniuses from another planet, use tricks like pianos on mountains to lead us to a new level of auditory consciousness?

Picture the musical version of the mysterious obelisks in the book/film 2001: A Space Odyssey. Instruments are so limited in studios, concert halls, and homes … is it so hard to believe that some rockin’ E.T.’s are paving the way to the next big thing in melody and harmony?

I’m starting to convince myself that this theory has some merit.

I think they’ve done this all along. Throughout history, aliens have probably lent helping hands to chosen artists to advance the musical evolution of our species.

I have the facts to back this up, people.

Led Zeppelin, of course, made that trek to the Himalayas, receiving musical revelation from the stars on a wind-swept peak … leading to “Kashmir.”

It’s clear that extraterrestrials descended from the skies to deliver a drum kit to Phil Collins, inspiring his classic tune “In the Air Tonight.”

Naysayers can no longer deny that the Beatles found a hidden alien underwater craft in the Mariana Trench during a side trip from their Japanese tour in the mid-60s. How else could these four Liverpudlians come up with something as ridiculous as “Yellow Submarine?”

And it’s a little known fact that Eddie Van Halen has frequently received aid from The Others.

He found a carefully placed electric guitar atop Italy’s lava-spurting Mt. Etna in the mid-1970s; the other-worldly object prompted him to play the “Eruption” solo on Van Halen I. Not to mention those smokin’ techniques that aliens passed to him during his vacation to Central America’s famous canal zone.

You know, the one in Panama.

15 Comments:

At June 08, 2006 10:56 PM, Blogger Pixie replied to my musings ...

LOL I read that about the piano too.
=)

 
At June 09, 2006 12:12 AM, Blogger Godwhacker replied to my musings ...

Michael Jackson.

 
At June 09, 2006 12:16 AM, Blogger UnHoly Diver replied to my musings ...

Then there are people such as Eric Clapton and Neil Peart who are so good, they're other-worldly, if you will. I'm sure these aliens must have left some of the DNA behind in order to propogate the species.

 
At June 09, 2006 7:25 AM, Blogger Unknown replied to my musings ...

Thank you for the informative piece Amulet. I finally feel like this theory explains it all....

...Britney Spears is an alien. She was put here on this earth to remind us just how bad music can be when you let the Mickey Mouse Club and Star Search start your career.....

 
At June 09, 2006 7:28 AM, Blogger On My Watch replied to my musings ...

certainly explains Pink Floyd's fascination with the Dark Side of the Moon. I'm starting to believe you! :)

 
At June 09, 2006 8:01 AM, Blogger Stacy The Peanut Queen replied to my musings ...

I heard about that piano too. I just figured the acoustics were better up there...:)

 
At June 09, 2006 10:21 AM, Blogger Crazy Dan replied to my musings ...

That is an awesome theory, so if the aliens are helping us musically the who is responsible for Ashley Simpson, The music from Griese (that john travolta movie, how ever you spell it), and the super evil group ABBA!!

 
At June 09, 2006 10:24 AM, Anonymous Anonymous replied to my musings ...

"And it’s a little known fact that Eddie Van Halen has frequently received aid from The Others."

Ha! Way to work Lost in there!

 
At June 09, 2006 6:17 PM, Anonymous Anonymous replied to my musings ...

I ditto what Bruce said about Neil Pert and Eric Clapton and I think The Edge is from another planet for sure.

Great post AS ALWAYS!!!

(I have a new blog, will you update your link for me, pretty please?)

 
At June 10, 2006 7:12 AM, Anonymous Anonymous replied to my musings ...

Did you ever think that maybe someone moved the mountain under the piano instead of the other way around? Maybe the piano was there first...

 
At June 10, 2006 3:15 PM, Blogger Metal Mark replied to my musings ...

So is it also possible that Keith Richards really died around 1978 and an alien took over his corpse? This would explain a lot.

Or maybe aliens came and took all four members of Van Halen away in late 1984 and replaced them with not so perfect clones. This would explain a lot too and it would be cool to imagine the clssic line-up of Van Halen playing live somewhere. Even if it is in front of creatures with four arms.

 
At June 11, 2006 7:02 AM, Blogger jay lassiter replied to my musings ...

michael jackosn...HAHAHAHA

actually this is a fun story. i like the Kashmere theory...

 
At June 11, 2006 2:53 PM, Blogger David Amulet replied to my musings ...

Great musical thoughts. I hadn't considered the fact that Michael Jackson is an obvious alien interloper.

Mimi: Perhaps I am the aliens' liaison officer. Perhaps.

Barbara: Thanks for letting me know--I'll make the change this week and swing by your new place.

Fred: I think you're right. Cave drawings from the area several million years ago, before the mountain was fully formed, shows a hovering piano in the pre-Scottish sky ...

-- david

 
At June 12, 2006 12:30 PM, Blogger David Amulet replied to my musings ...

Since posting this, I have heard news that leads me to question the wisdom of the extraterrestrial masters: supposedly, George Michael is interested in a Wham! reunion.

I think I'd prefer the flesh-eating aliens to ones that would allow this to happen.

-- david

 
At June 12, 2006 3:32 PM, Blogger Perplexio replied to my musings ...

That might also explain why the more accomplished musicians (prog-rockers) have so many songs with sci-fi or fantasy inspired lyrics. Starship Trooper by Yes, Lady of the Lake by Starcastle, Castle Walls by Styx, etc. etc.-- and maybe Kansas Point of Know Return is actually referring to some undefined point in space from where they draw their musical inspiration...

 

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