Thursday, May 25, 2006

The Days of Our Lives

I’ve always thought we could use more holidays.

Sure, it’s nice to get off for the usual occasions, like Christmas and Thanksgiving … but too often you really need that day away on October 3 or May 25 instead of one of those obvious days.

One solution is the “personal day,” the corporate benefit that allows employees to pick their own special day. Not bad, especially if you get several of them.

Even better, though, is just creating your own fancy holiday.

The greeting card companies have tried this for years, with varying success. I keep hearing about this apparently popular “Sweetest Day,” although I’m not sure if my fiancée would be flattered or insulted if I ever called her “sweetest.” Other such fake holidays, like “Grandparents’ Day,” have few fans.

But I am a fan of one particular idea along these lines. According to, in a recent radio poll in Namibia, half of the callers expressed support for making the day Angelina Jolie gives birth to Brad Pitt’s baby a national holiday.

That’s NOT a typo—Namibians are actually considering making Brangelina’s big day a historic event simply because the couple has been shacking up at a beach resort in their country while waiting for the most beautiful baby ever to pop out.

If this concept takes off, don’t be surprised to see a wave of new national holidays, giving people in these places days off for:

France: “I’m French … So I Just Don’t Want To Work Today” Day

The United States: “American Idol Final Selection Show” Day

Mexico: “Get an Early Start Walking North” Day

Namibia: “Britney Spears’ 30th Birthday/Fifth Childbirth” Day

Belgium: Nothing. You see, the Belgians keep trying to come up with a new holiday, but they will never settle on one. Why?

Because Belgians waffle.


At May 25, 2006 8:59 PM, Blogger :P fuzzbox replied to my musings ...

August is the only month of the year without a holiday. I think a holiday needs created just for August. How about a 'Bald is Beautiful Day.'

Every bald guy could paint there noggin in outlandish colors and play games like the hoop toss around the head like the ConeHeads from SNL did. It could be a festive holiday indeed.

At May 25, 2006 9:08 PM, Blogger David Amulet replied to my musings ...

Nice to see you, Fuzz. I'm partial to the smooth-headed holidays, but I need to point out that June also does not have a major holiday.

Unless you count Flag Day.

-- david

At May 25, 2006 9:15 PM, Anonymous The Fiancee replied to my musings ...

Amulet, you should know by now, if you ever call me "sweetest" I'll deck you. Same goes for "pookie bear," "honey muffin," "cutie pie," or any other ooey gooey Hallmark vomit. Good post, my little oobie doobie doo.

At May 25, 2006 9:32 PM, Blogger Pixie replied to my musings ...

We have a holiday in August ,and two in may. The rest are just Easter, Xmas , New Year.
There was a campain to get St Georges day recognised as a national holiday but I doubt it would happen.

I dont think you get enough vacation time here, in the UK the avergae vacation time after one year spent in the job is 4 weeks , as well as the national holidays. The usually you work up from there to a maximum of 6 (ish) weeks per year.

So David, if you were to give the Uk a new national holiday what would it be ?

At May 25, 2006 9:49 PM, Blogger David Amulet replied to my musings ...

We have a first, ladies and gentlemen--my dearest betrothed has posted. Along with plagues and locusts, this is one of the signs of Armageddon!

Pixie: I would give the UK a set of "Former Colony Day" holidays. That way, you'd get dozens and dozens of holidays to commemorate the independence anniversaries of all those damn African and Asian countries your ancestors so kindly subjugated and then released into the wilds of world politics.

-- david

At May 25, 2006 10:04 PM, Blogger cube replied to my musings ...

Holidays are over-rated. I think people should blog all the time & never work ;-)

At May 25, 2006 11:41 PM, Blogger The Phoenix replied to my musings ...

I had no idea the French actually worked in the first place.

I think a bunch of Americans did take the day off to celebrate the American Idol finale.

At May 26, 2006 1:29 AM, Anonymous Anonymous replied to my musings ...

Nice pun. Beware of the pun haters - they may come out of the woodwork again!

I am pretty sure that American Idol is going to take over the government soon, and thus, the holidays as there were more votes for the recent 'winner' than the last election. Apparently.

At May 26, 2006 7:01 AM, Blogger An80sNut replied to my musings ...

Damn waffles. You'd think that Al Gore would push a "Park The Car And Walk" weekend (dunno if a day is good enough.) I wouldn't actually mind something like that. Hmmm... if I had a personal holiday it would be "Martin Doesn't Leave Bed For Anything" day.

At May 26, 2006 7:33 AM, Blogger Metal Mark replied to my musings ...

I like the bald day idea except it might have to be indoors or else we bald people would get major sunburn doing lots of activities under the August sun without a hat.

Father's day is in June and it's probably bigger than Flag Day.

I suggest "Heavy Metal day" to take place in August. We get to blast metal all day and maybe a few special concerts would take place then as well. August would be the perfect month as it would be a last hurrah for those who have to go back to school.

I always treat the Super Bowl likes it's a holiday.

At May 26, 2006 9:06 AM, Blogger Curare_Z replied to my musings ...

Oh my god. The fiancee posted. Run for the hills everyone. Run for the hills. Good to see you fiancee. You and the Antidote are getting all post crazy!

At least here in VA, we need a day in August for "stay home in the air conditioning because it's so damn hot" day.

I'm also a fan of "mama got a new pair of shoes" day.

At May 26, 2006 9:30 AM, Blogger LocuTus of Borg replied to my musings ...

LOL David you kill me man! I completely agree though, I think we should keep coming up with holidays so we only end up working like 2 days a week =)

At May 26, 2006 9:47 AM, Blogger OnMyWatch replied to my musings ...

hilarious. I agree - more holidays are needed, only if they don't require buying gifts. :)

At May 26, 2006 9:47 AM, Anonymous Bruce replied to my musings ...

At least here in VA, we need a day in August for "stay home in the air conditioning because it's so damn hot" day.

Ain't that the truth!

Me; I treat Opening Day of baseball season as a holiday, and I think Eric Clapton's birthday, March 31, should be an international holiday, because afterall.....Clapton is God.

At May 26, 2006 10:38 AM, Blogger Jody replied to my musings ...

Here is Santa Cruz folks take the morning off when the waves are good, so I don't think a special new holiday is in order here. However, I would like to observe my own birthday by not working.

At May 26, 2006 10:40 AM, Blogger Jody replied to my musings ...

Actually, for the rest of the summer we get off work 3 hours early every Friday. So that makes today a half-holiday.

At May 26, 2006 1:31 PM, Blogger Mimi replied to my musings ...

David, you never cease to make me laugh! You most certainly are the Jon Stewart of Blogger. You should be his replacement when he retires.

I am unfortunately not surprised they wanna make Brangelina kids bday a holiday.

At May 26, 2006 5:32 PM, Blogger Ben Heller replied to my musings ...

Keep going with your great blog


At May 26, 2006 10:31 PM, Anonymous Leah replied to my musings ...

Dude, you are forgetting the most important made-up holiday yet! The National Day of Slayer. 6/6/06.

According to their website you should:

Taking that participation to a problematic level

# Stage a "Slay-out." Don't go to work. Listen to Slayer.
# Have a huge block party that clogs up a street in your neighborhood. Blast Slayer albums all evening. Get police cruisers and helicopters on the scene. Finish with a full-scale riot.
# Spray paint Slayer logos on churches, synagogues, or cemeteries.
# Play Slayer covers with your own band (since 99% of your riffs are stolen from Slayer anyway).
# Kill the neighbor's dog and blame it on Slayer.

At May 27, 2006 8:46 AM, Anonymous Fred Charles replied to my musings ...

I think that me, you and Metal Mark should start HeadBanger Day!

At May 27, 2006 4:14 PM, Blogger Pixie replied to my musings ...

David: I like the idea of dozens of holidays, the down side is I am not there to enjoy them.
By enjoy them I mean staying indoors while the rest of the country heads for the amusement parks and the coast. They sit for hours in traffice, spend a few hours (and a fortune) at their destination, eat junk food all day and then spend more hours stuck in traffic trying to get home again!

At May 27, 2006 5:19 PM, Blogger jay lassiter replied to my musings ...

damn david, every is hating on the French, not you too!
But you're right, the French sensibilities are a bit ripe for the picking.
By the way wouldn't it be ironic if Brangelina's baby is really ugly?

At May 27, 2006 9:03 PM, Blogger Meagan replied to my musings ...

i love waffles. they are astounding.

At May 29, 2006 6:12 PM, Blogger Tai replied to my musings ...

Belgians waffle.
I don't know if I should cheer or boo!

I think Canda should have a "Thank Goodness We're NOT American" day.


At May 30, 2006 5:15 AM, Anonymous Anonymous replied to my musings ...

how about australia? i cant believe you missed me out!!!

At May 30, 2006 12:27 PM, Blogger Perplexio replied to my musings ...

I think Sweetest Day is purely a midwestern phenomenon. When I grew up in NY state I never heard it even mentioned. When I was a freshman in college (in Michigan) I was really confused in October with all the repeated references to "Sweetest Day"

My wife has spent most of her life in the midwest and even she thinks the Holiday is a farce.

When I was in middle school and high school I tried to start petitions to get Arbor Day off in order to go plant trees (not that I had any interest in actually doing so, I just wanted a legit excuse for them to give us an extra day out of school).

Although, I do have to give Hallmark credit for NOT publishing/printing Arbor Day cards, considering the amount of trees that would have to sacrifice themselves for such frivolous cards.

At May 30, 2006 12:38 PM, Blogger Blonde Vigilante replied to my musings ...

You, my friend, are a corn ball. In a good way...of course.

At May 31, 2006 8:10 AM, Blogger Stacy The Peanut Queen replied to my musings ...

Okay, I want a "I Feel To Fat To Go To Work" day. And a "I Was Up Too Late Because I Watched The Survivor Finale" day too.

I'm sure I could think up about a gazillion more...;)

At May 31, 2006 10:38 AM, Blogger BrianAlt replied to my musings ...

I get 3 Personal Days. And 27 Vacation Days. And 2 Managerial Holidays.

Yes, seriously!

At May 31, 2006 11:54 AM, Blogger BrianAlt replied to my musings ...

By the way, didn't I hear that Belgium going to have a new holiday?

I think it was "Create a Cartoon to Piss Lots of People Off" Day, wasn't it?

Something like that.

At June 01, 2006 2:14 PM, Blogger Crazy Dan replied to my musings ...

I love the one for mexico.

This is a comment in hopes that you can help Fuzz with his problem we are holding an intervention for him any help would be tremendous. I know that you visit his blog at times and I hope with the help of friends we can get him the treatment he needs.

At June 01, 2006 3:05 PM, Anonymous mojotek replied to my musings ...

"The United States: “American Idol Final Selection Show” Day"

Isn't this already a holiday here? I bet the number of people who either left work early or didn't go in at all really shot up for the Finale this year.


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