Caught Between a Rock and a Drunk Place

You may recall my recent post discussing the Peoria police that somehow overlooked a dead body in a parked car.

Most of you thought that was a big oversight. You’re right, it was. But just wait until you hear THIS one.

Imagine you’re driving for hours through Australia, across one of the flattest and most desolate landscapes on Earth. You’re looking for Uluru, also known as Ayers Rock: a huge sandstone formation, five miles around, which towers almost 1000 feet above you.

But you just can’t find the damn thing.

So you stop to ask the police where to find the rock, and their jaws drop. They stare at you like you’re drunk.

Well, actually, you ARE drunk. And they are in shock because you don’t see the massive monolith that looms only a couple of hundred feet in front of you. It's that colored mountain right there. Yes, that thing in your headlights.

Oops.

This scenario played out recently to this man from New South Wales. Now I must say, driving while under the influence is rarely a good idea. (I’d say never, but then you would surely come back with a story of how an axe-wielding murderer would have slain you had you not sped away while intoxicated. So I’ll stick with “rarely.”)

But flagging down the police to help your inebriated ass find the huge rock that’s right in front of you is … well, I imagine it’s in the legal dictionary next to “self-incriminating.”

I am not going to use this, however, as a chance to bash Australians. Nor will I take advantage of the opportunity to poke fun at bad drivers everywhere. Instead, I hope that each of you will simply learn from this man’s mistakes.

Follow some basic advice: Try to be more aware of your surroundings. Don’t self-incriminate. Get yourself a good map.

And rock on.