A Wednesday Rant
Two stories caught my attention today. Both made me stop and say, "hmmmm."
Yes, literally.
First, there's a story I feel compelled to highlight on principle. I'll even forgo my usual pun-ditry.
In Bizarro-world karmic revenge for the demagogic reaction to the proposed Dubai Ports World administration of a few U.S. ports, British hard rock band Saxon has lost its license to participate in the upcoming Desert Rock Festival.
What did Saxon do to spur this rejection? Did the group denigrate the ruling family? Were band members bringing drugs into the emirate?
Nope. It's because Saxon once recorded a song about the Crusades.
It seems the Dubai Department of Tourism and Commerce Marketing simply doesn't enjoy Saxon's tale of medieval war. I guess the lads should have instead laid down a track about Caligula, the War of the Roses, or the Louisiana Purchase.
The band has issued a statement on its Web site pointing out that the lyrics are merely "a snapshot of an event in history ... intended to give a flavour of what it must have been like in the army at the time." The organizers don't seem to care; there will be no Saxon at the festival.
You know the clash of civilizations is heating up when the fine citizens of the United Arab Emirates are prevented from seeing the group that may have inspired the This Is Spinal Tap. Enough said.
Now, crossing streams, my second peeve of the day. This one proves that we Americans are blind, focusing on the wrong threats while truly important thing trickle right through our defenses.
News has leaked out that the number one threat in our country is, well ... number one.
A California appeals court has ruled that public urination is a "vile and offensive" crime, against which police may act even if there no specific law on the books banning it. Prosecutors had argued that peeing in public violates both public nuisance and littering laws, and the judges agreed.
Great--another freedom taken away. Now police, judges, overzealous neighborhood watches ... all will gang up to make it even more difficult for us guys to make yellow snow.
We'll have to do it covertly, in the dead of night, with furtive glances all around to ensure we aren't being watched by private investigators. (Otherwise known as "Pee eyes.")
Whether it's due to this hypersensitivity to war lyrics or these restrictive rules about where I can empty my bladder, I'm now officially cranky. Don't cross my path today.
Yet I'm rational enough to recognize that I might have it all wrong. Maybe I'm too worked up over such minor things. Is that your belief?
If that IS yur-analysis, you piss me off.
posted by David Amulet @ 6:55 AM
30 wisecracks
30 Comments:
Yeah, but being pissed off is a lot better than being pissed on, right???
And WAY back in my party days, I'll admit that I committed the "vile and offensive" crime of yanking down my panties and creating havock amongst the masses.
(Well, okay...so there were no actual "masses" watching. It just kinda sounded cool when I said it...at least to me...)
Nevermind.....;)
If a cop takes you away for peeing in public pee on him and ask him if he likes that better. :)
Banning Saxon is just silly.
And the pee thing. Laws are already on the books and not enforced? Well, further quibbling is a waste of energy, time, and taxpayer dollars. I'd say those politicians are making work for themselves.
It's possible that I'm just letting a grumpy mood get to me ... but like you I saw both of these stories and thought they were silly. Don't we have more important things to worry about??
-- david
I knew that their Denim and leather attitude would get them in trouble. Over the last year Saxon changed drummers, Biff Byford had his house burn down and the band had to cancel their fall U.S. tour because someone didn't get the passports in time. Oh and now this. I still like them though if that counts for anything.
These two stories just piss me off(ok, I know that was bad, but I couldn't help myself). Banning a band because they recorded a song about something that happened over 1000 years ago is just idiotic. But then again, it is a government.
If peeing in public is such a heinous crime, why aren't the jails full of homeless people and drunks? Or politicians? Or football fans?
Mack- for a resort city, Va. Beach is awfully conservative. I'm sure it has a lot to do with the presence of Pat Robertson.
In light of the recent realization that in order to get elected they need to stand for something more than just standing against the opposition, the Democratic party is willing to take up just about any issues it seems ;-):
From Hardball on Tuesday where Chris Matthews was interviewing Democratic Strategist Hilary Rosen.
Chris Matthews: "I don't think your party has a policy."
Acknowledged Rosen: "It doesn't have a policy. It doesn't need to have a policy. What's the point of a Democratic policy?"
Matthews: "I can't believe you said that!"
But at least some Democrats believe in truth in advertising:
http://boortz.com/images/stabenow_incompetent.jpg
I may not like Bush much-- but it seems that old Gerry Rafferty song is growing increasingly more pertinent:
"Clowns to the left, Jokers to the right... and here I am, stuck in the middle with you."
So if the truth in advertising approach doesn't work for them, they have the public urination issue to fall back on.
I guess all alleys near bars will be patroled.
Jeez, they got that "urinating in public"-thing through right before St. Patrick's Day, huh?
I heard a group of bikers known as the "Pee Angels" are protesting with a pee-a-thon behind some bar in Washington D.C. Maybe you could cover that story for us, David.
At least you can pee standing up.
I do not know that a Rock Festival in the middle of the Desert sounds like all that good of an idea anyway. Saxon sounds like they might have avoided a meltdown.
Fuzzbox: Rock & Roll in the desert is as good an idea as pyrotechnics in a small overcrowded room. Just ask Great White!
Believe me when I say that most cops hate those stupid laws too. Who cares where you pee? As long as you don't pee on me I don't care. Well then again... if everyone were peeing everywhere then it would smell. Yeah. that's kinda gross. I remember walking in downtown San Antonio and seeing piles of barf around every corner. .that's more vile than pee, I think.
Little tidbit- I once had to arrest a guy for taking a crap in the middle of the street b/c he was disrupting traffic. I ended up with it on me and received a sprained ankle. When the nurses at the hospital said, "Gee, you smell like s**t" they really meant it. LOL.
But David, people generally only pee in public places whenever "urinetown" ;-)
(I see your bad pun and raise it)
If someone pees in their own yard, I say pee away!
If someone pees next to my car in the parking lot of the grocery store, I say pee not!
Due to my thimble-sized bladder, I have had to pee alongside the road on a number of occasions. What a nuisance that is! But, it was either pee alongside the highway or pee in the car.
I think that I used to live in Urinetown, I lived on Bladder Boulevard. Well, actually I didn't.
Dran, you mean you won't be able to write the book "Yellow Rivers" by I.P. Standing?
Sorry, I couldn't resist.
Personally I think it depends on when, where and why you are peeing in public. There are two groups of people here in CA that pee in public a lot and I think this law was geared toward them.
I think it's fine to do your thing in a bush if you really have to go - male or female. But not standing on the corner into the gutter with people walking by.
Feeble Dirk: I said I would hold back on the puns for the first story ... but I pledged nothing on the second one!
-- david
One night i was drunk in paris and accidentally stepped in dog poo. SO, i went totally hysterical and start screaming (en francais) that france is an uncivilized country, blah blah blah.
After some frenchies tried to tell me that stepping in dog poo is good luck or some such nonsense and that stepping in poo is no big deal, i had to respond.
So i dropped my shorts and took a poop right there in Rue des Archives to the horror of everyone in sight. (look i was 19 and really really drunk, so don't go judgin' me or nother)
The people who saw this admittedly jeuvenile stunt seemed shocked and disgusted, kinda the way i felt when i stepped in the poo.
To make a long story endelss, someone called the cops who came and suggested that i clean it up. I refused and they did nothing.
It wasn't illegal to shit in the street in paris. and i have the self-incriminating anecdote to prove it.
My thoughts are embodied by the infamous cover of "Who's Next"... sometimes, you just gotta go..
Emergency urination is one thing, but it would be a sorry sight if everyone decided to pee & poop all over the place. I mean it would look like... Mexico.
wow.. most of Mexico does not look like that. I can think of tons of places here in the US that do though...
That last line was brilliant, David.
Hey just wanted to let you know, it's celebrating time again...my place, tomorrow!
sar's place tomorrow,huh?
is back!
dont live in singapore... you can get fined for jaywalking there...
[random i know - just what i was thinking]
Eventually someone is going to have their video camera trained on a friend taking a leak in the bushes, when all of a sudden a cop will tackle the urinating perp and because he'll get urine on his uniform the guy with the full bladder (bladderus interruptus?) will be charged with resisting arrest. Luckily though it'll all be caught on tape.
Right after we got married, my hubby and I moved to Huron, SD for about a year. The people there pronounce the town's name of Huron - Urine.
So, we lived in Urine, SD for about a year.
Also, they say the capital Pierre, SD like this: Peer.
Happy weekend!!
I don't think law enforcement shopuld be able to do anything if I am pissing on my yard, car, etc. After all, I am only "marking my territory."
Mimi has a point -- urine is biodegradable, whereas litter often isn't. Makes me wonder why the authorities aren't focusing more on the latter (litter).
-- david
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