Wednesday, March 15, 2006

A Wednesday Rant

Two stories caught my attention today. Both made me stop and say, "hmmmm."

Yes, literally.

First, there's a story I feel compelled to highlight on principle. I'll even forgo my usual pun-ditry.

In Bizarro-world karmic revenge for the demagogic reaction to the proposed Dubai Ports World administration of a few U.S. ports, British hard rock band Saxon has lost its license to participate in the upcoming Desert Rock Festival.

What did Saxon do to spur this rejection? Did the group denigrate the ruling family? Were band members bringing drugs into the emirate?

Nope. It's because Saxon once recorded a song about the Crusades.

It seems the Dubai Department of Tourism and Commerce Marketing simply doesn't enjoy Saxon's tale of medieval war. I guess the lads should have instead laid down a track about Caligula, the War of the Roses, or the Louisiana Purchase.

The band has issued a statement on its Web site pointing out that the lyrics are merely "a snapshot of an event in history ... intended to give a flavour of what it must have been like in the army at the time." The organizers don't seem to care; there will be no Saxon at the festival.

You know the clash of civilizations is heating up when the fine citizens of the United Arab Emirates are prevented from seeing the group that may have inspired the This Is Spinal Tap. Enough said.

Now, crossing streams, my second peeve of the day. This one proves that we Americans are blind, focusing on the wrong threats while truly important thing trickle right through our defenses.

News has leaked out that the number one threat in our country is, well ... number one.

A California appeals court has ruled that public urination is a "vile and offensive" crime, against which police may act even if there no specific law on the books banning it. Prosecutors had argued that peeing in public violates both public nuisance and littering laws, and the judges agreed.

Great--another freedom taken away. Now police, judges, overzealous neighborhood watches ... all will gang up to make it even more difficult for us guys to make yellow snow.

We'll have to do it covertly, in the dead of night, with furtive glances all around to ensure we aren't being watched by private investigators. (Otherwise known as "Pee eyes.")

Whether it's due to this hypersensitivity to war lyrics or these restrictive rules about where I can empty my bladder, I'm now officially cranky. Don't cross my path today.

Yet I'm rational enough to recognize that I might have it all wrong. Maybe I'm too worked up over such minor things. Is that your belief?

If that IS yur-analysis, you piss me off.


At March 15, 2006 7:45 AM, Blogger Stacy The Peanut Queen replied to my musings ...

Yeah, but being pissed off is a lot better than being pissed on, right???

And WAY back in my party days, I'll admit that I committed the "vile and offensive" crime of yanking down my panties and creating havock amongst the masses.

(Well, there were no actual "masses" watching. It just kinda sounded cool when I said least to me...)


At March 15, 2006 8:06 AM, Blogger Cari replied to my musings ...

If a cop takes you away for peeing in public pee on him and ask him if he likes that better. :)

At March 15, 2006 10:33 AM, Blogger phlegmfatale replied to my musings ...

Banning Saxon is just silly.

And the pee thing. Laws are already on the books and not enforced? Well, further quibbling is a waste of energy, time, and taxpayer dollars. I'd say those politicians are making work for themselves.

At March 15, 2006 10:58 AM, Blogger David Amulet replied to my musings ...

It's possible that I'm just letting a grumpy mood get to me ... but like you I saw both of these stories and thought they were silly. Don't we have more important things to worry about??

-- david

At March 15, 2006 11:10 AM, Blogger Metal Mark replied to my musings ...

I knew that their Denim and leather attitude would get them in trouble. Over the last year Saxon changed drummers, Biff Byford had his house burn down and the band had to cancel their fall U.S. tour because someone didn't get the passports in time. Oh and now this. I still like them though if that counts for anything.

At March 15, 2006 11:27 AM, Blogger none - ya replied to my musings ...

You can't pee in public in Virginia Beach. It is a misdemeanor. A friend of mine was caught peeing in public and she gave the cop her sister's id and now she has peeing in public on her permanent record eventhough it was her that did it. That's funny.

At March 15, 2006 11:28 AM, Blogger none - ya replied to my musings ...

..eventhough it wasn't she that did it.

I'm a retard with words sometimes.

At March 15, 2006 12:05 PM, Anonymous Bruce replied to my musings ...

These two stories just piss me off(ok, I know that was bad, but I couldn't help myself). Banning a band because they recorded a song about something that happened over 1000 years ago is just idiotic. But then again, it is a government.
If peeing in public is such a heinous crime, why aren't the jails full of homeless people and drunks? Or politicians? Or football fans?

Mack- for a resort city, Va. Beach is awfully conservative. I'm sure it has a lot to do with the presence of Pat Robertson.

At March 15, 2006 12:28 PM, Blogger Perplexio replied to my musings ...

In light of the recent realization that in order to get elected they need to stand for something more than just standing against the opposition, the Democratic party is willing to take up just about any issues it seems ;-):

From Hardball on Tuesday where Chris Matthews was interviewing Democratic Strategist Hilary Rosen.

Chris Matthews: "I don't think your party has a policy."

Acknowledged Rosen: "It doesn't have a policy. It doesn't need to have a policy. What's the point of a Democratic policy?"

Matthews: "I can't believe you said that!"

But at least some Democrats believe in truth in advertising:

I may not like Bush much-- but it seems that old Gerry Rafferty song is growing increasingly more pertinent:

"Clowns to the left, Jokers to the right... and here I am, stuck in the middle with you."

So if the truth in advertising approach doesn't work for them, they have the public urination issue to fall back on.

At March 15, 2006 12:43 PM, Blogger angel, jr. replied to my musings ...

I guess all alleys near bars will be patroled.

At March 15, 2006 1:41 PM, Blogger Zen Wizard replied to my musings ...

Jeez, they got that "urinating in public"-thing through right before St. Patrick's Day, huh?

At March 15, 2006 1:50 PM, Blogger The Phoenix replied to my musings ...

I heard a group of bikers known as the "Pee Angels" are protesting with a pee-a-thon behind some bar in Washington D.C. Maybe you could cover that story for us, David.

At March 15, 2006 2:51 PM, Blogger debbiecakes replied to my musings ...

At least you can pee standing up.

At March 15, 2006 3:06 PM, Blogger :P fuzzbox replied to my musings ...

I do not know that a Rock Festival in the middle of the Desert sounds like all that good of an idea anyway. Saxon sounds like they might have avoided a meltdown.

At March 15, 2006 3:30 PM, Blogger Laurie replied to my musings ...

And if you're smoking a cigarette at the same time, the charges are doubled. :-P

I better be careful in California this weekend (I don't smoke, lol)

At March 15, 2006 3:59 PM, Blogger Perplexio replied to my musings ...

Fuzzbox: Rock & Roll in the desert is as good an idea as pyrotechnics in a small overcrowded room. Just ask Great White!

At March 15, 2006 4:13 PM, Blogger LostInTX replied to my musings ...

Believe me when I say that most cops hate those stupid laws too. Who cares where you pee? As long as you don't pee on me I don't care. Well then again... if everyone were peeing everywhere then it would smell. Yeah. that's kinda gross. I remember walking in downtown San Antonio and seeing piles of barf around every corner. .that's more vile than pee, I think.

Little tidbit- I once had to arrest a guy for taking a crap in the middle of the street b/c he was disrupting traffic. I ended up with it on me and received a sprained ankle. When the nurses at the hospital said, "Gee, you smell like s**t" they really meant it. LOL.

At March 15, 2006 4:16 PM, Blogger Perplexio replied to my musings ...

But David, people generally only pee in public places whenever "urinetown" ;-)

(I see your bad pun and raise it)

At March 15, 2006 4:26 PM, Blogger Dirk the Feeble replied to my musings ...

HEY! I was promised no puns! You lie to me, and now I can never trust you again.

At March 15, 2006 4:31 PM, Blogger Jamie Dawn replied to my musings ...

If someone pees in their own yard, I say pee away!
If someone pees next to my car in the parking lot of the grocery store, I say pee not!
Due to my thimble-sized bladder, I have had to pee alongside the road on a number of occasions. What a nuisance that is! But, it was either pee alongside the highway or pee in the car.

At March 15, 2006 4:38 PM, Blogger Metal Mark replied to my musings ...

I think that I used to live in Urinetown, I lived on Bladder Boulevard. Well, actually I didn't.

At March 15, 2006 6:20 PM, Blogger Bar Bar A replied to my musings ...

Dran, you mean you won't be able to write the book "Yellow Rivers" by I.P. Standing?

Sorry, I couldn't resist.

Personally I think it depends on when, where and why you are peeing in public. There are two groups of people here in CA that pee in public a lot and I think this law was geared toward them.

I think it's fine to do your thing in a bush if you really have to go - male or female. But not standing on the corner into the gutter with people walking by.

At March 15, 2006 8:09 PM, Blogger David Amulet replied to my musings ...

Feeble Dirk: I said I would hold back on the puns for the first story ... but I pledged nothing on the second one!

-- david

At March 16, 2006 2:45 AM, Blogger Ben Heller replied to my musings ...

Urination, worse than dropping litter ? I don't think so. Clamp down on McDonalds wrapper droppers, not pee-ers

At March 16, 2006 8:09 AM, Blogger jay lassiter replied to my musings ...

One night i was drunk in paris and accidentally stepped in dog poo. SO, i went totally hysterical and start screaming (en francais) that france is an uncivilized country, blah blah blah.
After some frenchies tried to tell me that stepping in dog poo is good luck or some such nonsense and that stepping in poo is no big deal, i had to respond.
So i dropped my shorts and took a poop right there in Rue des Archives to the horror of everyone in sight. (look i was 19 and really really drunk, so don't go judgin' me or nother)
The people who saw this admittedly jeuvenile stunt seemed shocked and disgusted, kinda the way i felt when i stepped in the poo.
To make a long story endelss, someone called the cops who came and suggested that i clean it up. I refused and they did nothing.
It wasn't illegal to shit in the street in paris. and i have the self-incriminating anecdote to prove it.

At March 16, 2006 8:48 AM, Blogger FredCQ replied to my musings ...

Poor Saxon! Such if the life of a metal band. It's funny that they got band for something as in offensive as a song about the Crusades. At least when Slayer used to get banned for stuff, you could at least see why.

At March 16, 2006 9:59 AM, Blogger Godwhacker replied to my musings ...

My thoughts are embodied by the infamous cover of "Who's Next"... sometimes, you just gotta go..

At March 16, 2006 11:20 AM, Blogger FredCQ replied to my musings ...

I just read something really amusing. They booted Saxon off this concert but they are letting Megadeth play. I guess they don't mind that Megadeth wrote a song called "Holy Wars".

At March 16, 2006 11:33 AM, Blogger cube replied to my musings ...

Emergency urination is one thing, but it would be a sorry sight if everyone decided to pee & poop all over the place. I mean it would look like... Mexico.

At March 16, 2006 11:42 AM, Blogger LostInTX replied to my musings ...

wow.. most of Mexico does not look like that. I can think of tons of places here in the US that do though...

At March 16, 2006 11:47 AM, Blogger Shannon replied to my musings ...

LOL @ Yellow snow...

Ummm I agree that in emergency situations (But then again, everyone would use that excuse)it is hard to control, for instance.. if you are on a road trip in your car and there is no rest area in sight, so you pull over on the interstate and do the deed. My only thing is do it behind a tree or something not out in public view.

But for the love of God, I do not want a pee infested city... it's gross. I do agree we have bigger fish to fry in the world but I guess we gotta start with the smaller stuff (I think it makes us feel more in control) lol

Thanks for visiting me too!

At March 16, 2006 3:41 PM, Blogger Sar replied to my musings ...

That last line was brilliant, David.

Hey just wanted to let you know, it's celebrating time place, tomorrow!

At March 16, 2006 5:23 PM, Blogger jay lassiter replied to my musings ...

sar's place tomorrow,huh?

At March 17, 2006 1:47 AM, Anonymous Anonymous replied to my musings ...

is back!

dont live in singapore... you can get fined for jaywalking there...

[random i know - just what i was thinking]

At March 17, 2006 3:22 PM, Blogger Walter replied to my musings ...

Eventually someone is going to have their video camera trained on a friend taking a leak in the bushes, when all of a sudden a cop will tackle the urinating perp and because he'll get urine on his uniform the guy with the full bladder (bladderus interruptus?) will be charged with resisting arrest. Luckily though it'll all be caught on tape.

At March 17, 2006 7:08 PM, Blogger Mimi replied to my musings ...

Not a urine fan. But I would much rather have a stranger pee in my yard than all the litter that finds it's way to it! Do they even enforse those litter laws? Never heard of that being done. But I know if I went out and peed in the street I would get a cops attention.

At March 17, 2006 9:18 PM, Blogger michaelm replied to my musings ...

Hey David-
I wanted to thank you for stopping by my blog and commenting. Much appreciated.
I truly believe that all Arabs should be duct taped to a chair and forced to watch "This is Spinal Tap" until their eyes bleed. These people are just too damn serious. Period. Lighten up, people!
As far as public urination goes: we're talking about California here. Nuff said.
I've tailgated many a New England Patriot game and I'm sorry but after a shotgunned sixer, I'll piss on a cop if I have to. Just my opinion.
Be well and stop by again.


At March 18, 2006 12:14 AM, Blogger Jamie Dawn replied to my musings ...

Right after we got married, my hubby and I moved to Huron, SD for about a year. The people there pronounce the town's name of Huron - Urine.

So, we lived in Urine, SD for about a year.

Also, they say the capital Pierre, SD like this: Peer.

Happy weekend!!

At March 18, 2006 6:19 AM, Blogger Rocky replied to my musings ...

I don't think law enforcement shopuld be able to do anything if I am pissing on my yard, car, etc. After all, I am only "marking my territory."

At March 18, 2006 12:22 PM, Blogger David Amulet replied to my musings ...

Mimi has a point -- urine is biodegradable, whereas litter often isn't. Makes me wonder why the authorities aren't focusing more on the latter (litter).

-- david


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