Sex, Lies, and the First Grade
Some stories just make you shake you head. Questions like, “What were they thinking?” and “Are people really THAT stupid?” appear before your eyes.
This one’s a doozie, folks.
An article I saw last week: First-grader suspended for sexual harassment. I’d like to think I’m not the only one who saw this and did a double take, thinking I’d read the headline wrong … or stumbled across great news satire.
Sadly, this story is true. School officials in Massachusetts kicked a 6-year-old out of classes for three days to punish him for sticking his fingers inside a girl’s waistband. Which they, in their wisdom, called sexual harassment.
I call it political correctness run amok.
The boy denied touching the girl’s pants, telling his mom that the girl touched HIM first and he only responded by touching her shirt. Whether it was her waistband or her shirt, he’s now considered a sex offender.
The only problem is, as his mother told the press, she doesn’t even know how to explain to her son what “sexual harassment” is. You see, in case you missed it, he is SIX YEARS OLD.
Sure, everyone had at least one scary, mustache-wearing monster in their fifth grade class—you know, the 5’11” bully who had been held back about three times—but that’s an entirely different demographic from six-year-olds. I’m going to go out on a limb and join the medical experts who say that most first graders are too young to get sexual satisfaction from touching others.
Like many roads to hell, the PC road was paved with good intentions. But it has become a parody of itself. If sanity stays on its holiday and this trend continues, don’t be surprised to see these headlines in a newspaper near you:
President, Under Pressure, Renames Residence “Rainbow House”
Swedish Women Banned From Entering US Due To Hotness
Bartender Jailed After Serving Manhattan, Not Womanhattan
Abe Lincoln Exhumed, Charged With Not Ending Slavery Sooner
Senators Fined For Capitol Dome’s Breast-Like Appearance
Fetus Arrested After Touching Mother’s Uterus
If that last criminal commits his heinous crime in Massachusetts, he probably will be charged with sexual harassment.