I Need Your Ass
That's an abbreviation for "assistance," of course, in the title. Got your attention, didn't I?
A few blogs that I respect and admire have a "Best posts" or "Greatest hits" sidebar--a nice, friendly idea. And it's convenient for new visitors, who can quickly get a sense if it's a blog worth reading. So, for the common good AND to tickle your funny bone, I ask for a few minutes of your time to read a few back entries ... and leave a comment voting for your three favorites.
I will create links below for what an independent observer has told me are among the better posts to appear here. If you are a veteran of these pages, you may be able to respond quickly with your top choices. If you are are new member of the club, welcome--please take a few minutes and scan these posts and let me know what makes you chuckle most.
All who comment will get their site's link added to my sidebar.
If you already have a link here and you DON'T comment, then I will remove your link, hack your site, and stalk your family. (Not really, but I hope that my regulars WILL offer solid feedback.)
Here goes. Thanks in advance ... for your ass.
From July: Packing the Court: A Modest Proposal and Dear John Roberts
From August: The Latest Celebrity Fling and Funeral Attendance: A Coup-rageous Act for African Leaders
From October: Don't Cry for Me, Filipinos
From November: Man's Buttocks Glued to Toilet Seat: A Commentary
From December: Enemy Mine
From January: Shocking Differences Between Men and Women and Don't Cell Yourself Short
From February: Fall's Well That Ends Well
posted by David Amulet @ 7:56 AM
20 wisecracks
20 Comments:
I like Don't cry for me Filipinos,
Man's buttocks glued to toilet seat and the Shocking differences between men and women.
Thanks, Mark, for the quick input.
-- david
Narrowing it down to three is really hard.
I'd say:
Packing the Court: A Modest Proposal
The Latest Celebrity Fling
Shocking Differences Between Men and Women
with Don't Cry for Me, Filipinos a VERY CLOSE fourth (or tie for third).
But, they're all really good - so it was a hard choice to narrow down, like I said. Good luck on getting a good, across-the-board, response.
I liked The Latest Celebrity Fling and Man's Buttocks Glued to Toilet Seat =)
I liked your July 19th post on first and last impressions on the blogosphere. I held some of those same views then and many I retain.
Great input--I may have to list more than three to capture different styles!
I am blessed to have colleagues with such fine asses.
-- david
For Top 3:
"Packing the Court: A Modest Proposal", "Dear John Roberts," and "Enemy Mine."
Damn...can I vote for ALL of them?
Okay okay
Don't cry for me Filipinos
Packing the Court
Don't Cell yourself Short
Packing the Court, Dear John Roberts, Man's Buttocks, Enemy Mine (my fav), and Shocking Differences.
Tough to choose though, originally I listed all of them except one! I really like Enemy Mine, though--definitely one of your best!
Thanks for the additional thoughts. I am feeling the urge to go back and read these again myself. That's dangerous for a writer to do, I know--I'll probably have different ideas about where to take each topic and start editing!
Please keep the opinions coming, these are exactly the discerning opinions I was hoping to hear.
-- david
I would have to say that all of them are quite good.
But my favorite three are:
1)The Latest Celebrity Fling--since I really don't think celebrity news is real news. I have neighbors who shop at the same stores or change bf/gf as often as they change underwear.
2)Man's Buttocks Glued to Toilet Seat: fascinating, he was embarassed, but is willing to relive the incident with the whole nation now knowing what "trauma" he endured.
3)Don't Cell Yourself Short: I just think it's funny that people can multi-task, especially when a cell phone is involved.
and an honorable mention would be "Don't Cry for Me Filipinos". Just because I'm so fascinated that someone could own that many shoes or that much stuff.
Ben: I love the first idea, I wonder what mark thinks. Let's do this via a three-way e-mail; mine is in my profile ... can you start it off?
And thanks again to everyone weighing in on the posts!
-- david
OK, first of all, you can't have my ass, cuz Homie don't swing that way...
Now, that said, I would vote for the The Latest Celebrity Fling, Don't Cry for Me, Filipinos, and Man's Buttocks Glued to Toilet Seat: A Commentary.
Visiting your site via Fuzzbox...
My first day here, and I get to vote! I'm honored to offer my humble opinion...
1. Man's Buttocks Glued to a Toilet Seat: A Commentary - I'm a sucker for bathroom humor. The combination of the subject matter and your take on it was just too much ammo to rank any lower.
2. Don't Cry For Me, Fillipinos - This post proves everyone has a story to tell and far too many are made into movies, musicals, plays or reality TV.
3. The Latest Celebrity Fling - I enjoyed your take on Madonna and Mr. Ed. The cone bra comment was very amusing.
Great blog. I'll be visiting again.
Ok,
All are very good, but "Don't Cry For Me, Filipinos" for the "Spank Me and Call Me Bush.” line wins it for me. Perhaps it leads too well into the discussions on torture and the Abu Ghraib Prison scandal, not to mention the Whoopie Goldberg line "someone is giving "Bush" a bad name". “I remember when I used to like Bush”.
Another vote for the "Don't Cry for Me, Filipinos."
I did re-read all your linked posts last week but didn't have time to reply. Sorry.
Here are my faves:
1. Man's buttocks
2. Shocking difference
3. Fall's well (hey, Ilike any title that riffs a Shakespeare play)
I'd like to thank the Academy ... and my agent ...
But seriously, I appreciate the great feedback. The best-of list and your links will be up soon.
-- david
David, it's really difficult to narrow it down to a single favorite. So when I tell you I chose November's post with it's satire rich with buttocks double entendres, know that it doesn't slight the others.
based solely on which i enjoyed reading the most:
"Shocking Differences Between Men and Women"
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