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Friday, December 23, 2005

The True Meaning of Christmas

As we quickly approach the big holiday, it is an excellent time to reflect upon the real significance of the season. It’s not the binging on gifts. Nor is it the love of family and friends.

It’s not even the religious stuff.

The true meaning of Christmas, in fact, is much simpler: inebriated Santa Claus rampages.

At least it is in Auckland, New Zealand, where 40 people in ill-fitting Santa suits tipped back a few and raised hell last week in the latest incarnation of “Santarchy.” In a well-executed publicity stunt for this global movement, which opposes the commercialization of the holiday, these ho-ho-hooligans engaged in a variety of community-strengthening activities such as burglary, assault, graffiti spraying, and public urination.

Apparently in the southern hemisphere, ‘tis the season to be a drunken ass. A drunken ass with politico-economic cause, that is.

I know that angry bands of self-righteous Christians are roving through American strip malls with pitchforks and torches because the shopping focus of the modern holiday season makes them wretch more than watching “Brokeback Mountain.” Cells of disgruntled anti-capitalists are now joining them, forming an unholy alliance that future historians may mark as a missed sign of the apocalypse.

But is wanton destruction at the hands of two score shit-faced Santas really the answer?

Let’s face it. The Claus-witzian anarchist/antiglobalization freaks are stumbling around drunk on the wrong side of reason and the wrong side of history, as well as the wrong side of jailhouse bars in Auckland.

It’s bad enough that generations of children already carry Santa-related emotional scars through adulthood. Think about it. We lecture our kids incessantly to avoid creepy strangers … then we force them, kicking and screaming, to sit on the lap—and whisper into the ear—of some Schlitz-smelling stranger wearing an obvious disguise.

And now kids will add the image of a drunk, bottle-throwing thuggish Santa to their cherished Christmas memories. I doubt they will link it to the commercialization of the holiday, however, despite the protesters intentions.

If there is a meaning to the Christmas season, it probably has something to do with peace and goodwill. I’m not saying everybody should put a baby Jesus in their yard or attack people who say “Happy Holidays” instead of “Merry Christmas.” Far from it.

But it would be nice if, on this one day, we could answer affirmatively to the eternal question posed by the wise late 20th century philosopher Rodney King:

Can’t we all just get along?

10 Comments:

At December 23, 2005 3:12 PM, Blogger Laurie replied to my musings ...

Reminds me of John Belushi's take on Santa in the old SNL skit from the 70s.. haha.

I agree.. tis the season to love one another, and get along. Sadly, it's not that way for too many people.

Merry Christmas, David.. :-)

 
At December 23, 2005 11:53 PM, Blogger Ben Heller replied to my musings ...

For me christmas brought on a whole new meaning a couple of years ago.

I have a next door neighbour called Neil. I do his grocery shopping for him. He's a sweet old guy in his late 70's, whose wife (Barbara) passed away a number of years ago. He's a proud guy, a war vet, he still wears a tie every day, and although he has no family and no visitors, he never complains. I decided that I would make him a christmas dinner, take it around and spend a couple of hours with him on xmas day.

This time last year I asked him casually "Neil, what would you like for christmas ?" He replied, with tears in his eyes, "I'd give anything, to have just 5 minutes with Barbara, just to hold her hand, and tell her I love her, and miss her".
He said, "You know Lad, (he calls me Lad), that's what christmas is all about. Being with the ones you love, and who love you and that's the greatest christmas gift"
As long as Neil is around, I'll always make sure I spend time with him, because HE made me realise that christmas has a REAL meaning.

Best wishes David,

Ben

 
At December 25, 2005 1:02 AM, Blogger .: raven :. replied to my musings ...

::: Merry Christmas :::

xoxo

~Raven

 
At December 25, 2005 6:56 PM, Blogger RT replied to my musings ...

Merry Christmas, David!

...LoL, ho-ho-hooligans. I like that, and it gives me an idea for next years Halloween costume. :o)

 
At December 26, 2005 4:42 AM, Blogger Jenn replied to my musings ...

SOMEbody always has to ruin SOMEthing. And nope, it's not ever me! No, really... No, I'm SERIOUS. Dude, I'm NOT kidding. I don't like you anymore.

 
At December 26, 2005 4:42 AM, Blogger Jenn replied to my musings ...

P.S. I really do still like you.

 
At December 26, 2005 12:00 PM, Blogger David Amulet replied to my musings ...

Thanks for the good wishes, one and all. I hope each of your holiday goings on were all you had hoped for.

Ben: Great story! I think you should send that in to one of those Christmas short story compilations and spread the joy.

Jenn: The feeling is mutual. (The affection, not the confusion.)

-- david

 
At December 27, 2005 3:33 AM, Blogger An80sNut replied to my musings ...

I believe the answer to your and Rodney's question is yes. We can get along but we choose not to. The other way to answer the question would be... 42.

 
At December 27, 2005 10:41 AM, Blogger The Phoenix replied to my musings ...

As long as there will be overzealous idiots, they will always get the spotlight. It's too bad.

Maybe if enough of us just ignore them, they'll quit. Why can't they just try something less hateful, like sky-writing?

 
At December 28, 2005 10:35 PM, Blogger RT replied to my musings ...

Oh Phoenix, if only it were true.

You know what irritates me most about the whole PC thing?

It's the recognition.

You can't try to say something nice to someone and have good intentions, because someone will say it's wrong... Then you're stuck with not knowing what is the right thing to say...

 

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