Enemy Mine

We have seen some dramatic peace negotiations in recent years.

Take the Israelis and the Palestinians. They have been talking for a while after decades of fighting. And here in the US, the Gang of Fourteen crossed some particularly partisan lines to avert a breakdown in the US Senate a few months ago.

And it does not stop there. George Bush, Sr. and Bill Clinton have been flying around the world together all year. Even David Letterman and Oprah Winfrey have decided to break bread.

But now things are really picking up speed.

According to the ever-reliable Weekly Word News, angels and demons are negotiating a truce between Heaven and Hell.

This fine source reveals that Lucifer himself took the first step, asking the Creator—and I quote—“Isn’t it time to let bygones be bygones?” God must have agreed because, the paper declares, talks are continuing on numerous points of the peace plan.

Naturally, this all has me thinking.

Optimism reigns o’er me, so I see hope in this historic development. If the denizens of hell are in fact hammering things out with the cherubim and seraphim, there is a good chance for many more implacable foes to move beyond their antagonism.

Take, for example:

Vampires and werewolves. Whether it was a family dispute gone awry, as the film Underworld portrays it, or just, well ... just bad blood, we need to get these two back together and take a bite out of crime.

Oil and water. For all these eons, any two things that have not mixed have been said to be “like oil and water.” Let’s end the madness and come up with a new simile, dammit.

Jessica Simpson and intellect. I don't know what Jess did to piss intellect off, but whatever happened it was horrible enough to drive the two very, very far apart.

Team Aniston and Team Jolie. The two women in Brad's life surely can defuse their simmering tension. Who knows, maybe Jen can buddy up to Angie … and talk her and Brad into adopting another abandoned, hopeless creature.

Matt LeBlanc, perhaps.