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Monday, December 05, 2005

Enemy Mine

We have seen some dramatic peace negotiations in recent years.

Take the Israelis and the Palestinians. They have been talking for a while after decades of fighting. And here in the US, the Gang of Fourteen crossed some particularly partisan lines to avert a breakdown in the US Senate a few months ago.

And it does not stop there. George Bush, Sr. and Bill Clinton have been flying around the world together all year. Even David Letterman and Oprah Winfrey have decided to break bread.

But now things are really picking up speed.

According to the ever-reliable Weekly Word News, angels and demons are negotiating a truce between Heaven and Hell.

This fine source reveals that Lucifer himself took the first step, asking the Creator—and I quote—“Isn’t it time to let bygones be bygones?” God must have agreed because, the paper declares, talks are continuing on numerous points of the peace plan.

Naturally, this all has me thinking.

Optimism reigns o’er me, so I see hope in this historic development. If the denizens of hell are in fact hammering things out with the cherubim and seraphim, there is a good chance for many more implacable foes to move beyond their antagonism.

Take, for example:

Vampires and werewolves. Whether it was a family dispute gone awry, as the film Underworld portrays it, or just, well ... just bad blood, we need to get these two back together and take a bite out of crime.

Oil and water. For all these eons, any two things that have not mixed have been said to be “like oil and water.” Let’s end the madness and come up with a new simile, dammit.

Jessica Simpson and intellect. I don't know what Jess did to piss intellect off, but whatever happened it was horrible enough to drive the two very, very far apart.

Team Aniston and Team Jolie. The two women in Brad's life surely can defuse their simmering tension. Who knows, maybe Jen can buddy up to Angie … and talk her and Brad into adopting another abandoned, hopeless creature.

Matt LeBlanc, perhaps.

9 Comments:

At December 06, 2005 11:42 AM, Blogger The Phoenix replied to my musings ...

So, if Heaven and Hell reconcile, does that mean demon posession will halt altogether, or just be greatly reduced?

Hey - if the Bloods and the Crips can find peace, then Team Aniston and Team Jolie can as well. I think Matt LeBlanc has already been adopted by UNICEF.

Maybe they could adopt Bob Saget?

 
At December 06, 2005 2:54 PM, Blogger BuffyICS replied to my musings ...

Maybe intellect was pissed because Jessica Simpson's mom declared that Jess was a bona-fide genius.

 
At December 06, 2005 7:20 PM, Blogger David Amulet replied to my musings ...

Phoenix: The article says that the demons will halt their possessions but will continue to talk to crazy people. I guess Pat Robertson's life will remain unchanged!

Buffy: Did her mom really say that?!? I must say that I don't pay as much attention to Jessica's parents as I do to a couple of other things of hers ... If Jess is really a genius, then she's a much beter actress than any of us gave her credit for!

-- david

 
At December 06, 2005 11:05 PM, Blogger Dear Jane replied to my musings ...

I read an article that Jessica Simpson said she was just "playing dumb", but I don't think she understood the question...she does have a rockin body, though.

 
At December 08, 2005 9:16 AM, Blogger Ben Heller replied to my musings ...

Jessica Simpson visited England recently to promote the "Dukes of Hazard" movie.

Wearing a "Sex Pistols" t shirt, she was asked why she loved the band, and unfortunately she had absolutely no idea who the Sex Pistols were. To get a concept of what the British press thought, think of someone like Kate Winslet visiting the States wearing a Grateful Dead t shirt and not knowing how important they were to American music and culture.

Thank who ever above that it wasn't a Beatles T shirt, or she would have been ejected immediately.

From Ben, (across the pond).

 
At December 09, 2005 4:40 PM, Blogger An80sNut replied to my musings ...

I'll hold back comment until The Smiths reunite, Roth goes back to Van Halen and Steve Perry rejoins Journey.

 
At December 12, 2005 7:57 AM, Blogger Laurie replied to my musings ...

Team Jolie will reunite with Team Aniston when Brad starts playing around with Team Simpson...

 
At December 13, 2005 11:49 PM, Blogger Dave Cavalier replied to my musings ...

Although you make reference to it in the title, I cannot believe that you would fail to give a shout out to Louis Gossett, Jr.'s best role ever.

 
At December 14, 2005 6:00 AM, Blogger David Amulet replied to my musings ...

Ben: I apologize on behalf of America. Then again, you DID send us the Spice Girls ...

80s Nut: I've seen DLR recently, and I think our memories of Van Halen are best left untarnsihed by his sorry ass rejoning.

Laurie: I think Brad hitting the trifecta with Jessica would spur some kind of harmonic convergence, whereby all other hot female celebrities just line up at his door waiting for their turn.

Dave: That's the first time I've heard his name in a while. Are you claiming that LG in Enemy Mine was better than Chappy in the Iron Eagle movies (four, I think) ... or his role in the classic (ugh) Jaws 3-D?

Thanks for stopping by.

-- david

 

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