Friday, November 18, 2005

A Short Story

It seems these days you can find rankings of just about anything. Top books of the year. Best movies of all time. The most outstanding this, the least impressive that.

Some jackass even posted—on his pop culture and politics humor blog, no less—lists like “The Best Rock Debut Albums” and “The 25 Greatest Hair Metal Bands of the 1980s.” Who wants to see THAT crap?

This new one, however, is more in the weeds: according to’s “Showbuzz,” Maxim magazine’s December issue features the "25 Greatest Short Dudes of All Time." Briefly …

Angus Young of AC/DC stands above the rest at number one. I wouldn’t sell Yoda short; he comes in at number six.

That annoying miniature gnome from the Travelocity ads? Thankfully, he does not measure up.

But here’s a little sample of the others making the cut: Jon Stewart, Napoleon Bonaparte, Martin Scorsese, Kurt Cobain, Doug Flutie, Prince, and cosmonaut Yuri Gagarin. (As a tiny side note, I dare you to find any other list that includes such a diverse cast of characters.)

A wee part of me naturally wonders if they will follow with a ranking of the best tall men of all time. Would we see Abraham Lincoln? Yao Ming? Chewbacca?

I don’t know whether you are up for these kinds of lists, but I think they are the height of absurdity.


At November 19, 2005 4:18 AM, Blogger Tom replied to my musings ...

I'm not sure that list needed to exist, but I have to laugh at the fact that Spud Webb finished ahead of Napoleon Bonaparte.

Also, Doug Flutie is taller than me by an inch. I guess I'm a short dude.

At November 19, 2005 12:27 PM, Blogger The Pagan Temple replied to my musings ...

Two Foot Fred from the C&W group Big 'N Rich should certainly knock somebody off this list.

At November 20, 2005 11:39 AM, Blogger Laurie replied to my musings ...

jon stewart is a short guy?

At November 21, 2005 11:06 AM, Blogger Dear Jane replied to my musings ...

I clicked on your link & read the entire article and have a few issues with it. First of all, other than me, are there many women who have actually read Maxim magazine? If they are seriously trying to redirect women's views, perhaps they should try printing this article in a Cosmo or Mademoiselle magazine that single women actually read.

And secondly, to blame genetic shallowness when choosing a partner. I think Hollywood and the media do the most to proliferate the image that tall men are superior. Do we ever see short actors paired up with much taller leading ladies? No, they either team them up with shorter actresses, or use different camera angles to give the apperance of height.

And in the "real" world (i.e. outside Hollywood) studies have shown that couples who have been married the longest and report the highest rating of happiness have the closest IQ's not height, religion, money or any other shallow physical feature. Apparently, it is a meeting of the minds that keeps people happy...nothing more, nothing less.

At November 21, 2005 9:37 PM, Blogger The Phoenix replied to my musings ...

jon steward is 5'4"

Anyway, I think lists are just a shortcut to real writing. It's quick, and it can be entertaining. But mostly, it's dumbed down.

At November 23, 2005 4:19 PM, Blogger An80sNut replied to my musings ...

I'm very opposed to subjective lists and polls. It rarely amuses me and just reminds me how much people like things in some sense of order. That's why I avoid making list other than those of my personal preferences because otherwise it'd be a sham. I'm sure there'll be lists of the top 25 ugliest celebrities or top 10 celebrities that don't know they are celebrities but it's just more useless information for a time when people want escapist news.

At November 23, 2005 9:02 PM, Blogger Metal Mark replied to my musings ...

I make lists on my blog all the time. I don't find it to be a shortcut or dumbing down the writing at all. I actually find it as a way to write about than one topic in the same blog without feeling like I am getting off topic. Lists have always been something that I enjoy making and it's largely because I have a competitive spirit.

At December 16, 2005 4:44 AM, Blogger DIVYANG replied to my musings ...

I have made lists but they are not the lists you are talking about.For example,I recommend a song everytime I blog and I am planning to compile all the songs and put them all in one post.So we will have something like..."The Recommended Songs OF 2005",or something like that.


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