Tuesday, November 08, 2005

French Toast

Apparently the French government has declared a state of emergency.

Well, isn’t that just typical French efficiency? The rioters have been burning cars and buildings for twelve days now. TWELVE DAYS! I guess the French are thinking proactively … that they really should nip this in the bud.

“The bud,” for them, means a spread of violence to only 270+ towns and spillover to only a couple of other countries.

The French are so scared of pissing anybody off that they jumped on their own interior minister last week after he called the demonstrators “scum.” The bottom line is that they would rather let the hooligans create a nice France flambé than call them a bad name.

But you all know I always look for another angle on things. A more nefarious explanation. The ghost in the machine.

Here goes: Perhaps the government in Paris is wiser than we think.

You see, the French quasi-socialist system has squelched economic growth for years. Maybe these riots represent Chirac’s brilliant plan to kick-start the economy: Let the cars burn! The French finally would be able to reach a respectable employment rate by forcing citizens into Citroen and Renault factories to rebuild the country’s automobile supply.

Meanwhile, the world watches as the French—who so annoyingly lecture the rest of the globe about how to do things correctly—get a dose of karmic justice. And the world laughs.

Except for neighboring European countries, of course. For the first time in modern history, they are fearing something coming out of France.

If only the rioters were speaking German—the French government would have given up eleven days ago.


At November 09, 2005 10:34 AM, Blogger The Phoenix replied to my musings ...

And we all know how reliable those Renaults are! I drove an 86' Renault Alliance when I was in high school - it was a piece of crap, but it has a very comfortable interior. How appropriate.

Oh, and I thought France was the epitome of living in peace with their Muslim citizens...NOT.

At November 09, 2005 1:10 PM, Blogger BuffyICS replied to my musings ...

"If only the rioters were speaking German—the French government would have given up eleven days ago."


On a sidenote, Renault did win the constructor's championship in Formula One this year, beating both McClaren Mercedes AND Ferrari.

At November 09, 2005 5:52 PM, Blogger The Phoenix replied to my musings ...

Yeah, but did that Renault eat up HIS Asia tape? I think not. Talk about "The Heat of the Moment."

At November 09, 2005 5:55 PM, Blogger The 502 replied to my musings ...

"If only the rioters were speaking German—the French government would have given up eleven days ago."

Thank you, I needed a good belly laugh!

At November 10, 2005 12:58 PM, Blogger Dear Jane replied to my musings ...

Karmic justice...I have no comment, except that perhaps I pissed off France in my past life?

At November 11, 2005 3:15 AM, Blogger Jenn replied to my musings ...

Haha, "french toast." Very clever.

I need a new honeymoon spot. I need a husband first though. So they have alot of time to fix it.

At November 11, 2005 7:59 AM, Blogger David Amulet replied to my musings ...

Phoenix: It' sbeen a long time since I saw a Renault (in the US, at least). I hope you kept it--in a few years it will be an antique and ironically worth more than when you drove it.

Buffy: Pardon my zing. I was feeling a little frisky.

502: Happy to help. Another potential ab workout coming today with a pun-ishing post I am starting ...

Jane: If you pissed off France in a previous life, you are a friend of mine.

Jenn: Thanks for coming by. Have you thought about flying to an exotic vacation spot and just meeting your husband-to-be on the plane, at the airport, or at the resort? That avoids all the stress of "finding" a husband here first ...

-- d.a.


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