French Toast

Apparently the French government has declared a state of emergency.

Well, isn’t that just typical French efficiency? The rioters have been burning cars and buildings for twelve days now. TWELVE DAYS! I guess the French are thinking proactively … that they really should nip this in the bud.

“The bud,” for them, means a spread of violence to only 270+ towns and spillover to only a couple of other countries.

The French are so scared of pissing anybody off that they jumped on their own interior minister last week after he called the demonstrators “scum.” The bottom line is that they would rather let the hooligans create a nice France flambé than call them a bad name.

But you all know I always look for another angle on things. A more nefarious explanation. The ghost in the machine.

Here goes: Perhaps the government in Paris is wiser than we think.

You see, the French quasi-socialist system has squelched economic growth for years. Maybe these riots represent Chirac’s brilliant plan to kick-start the economy: Let the cars burn! The French finally would be able to reach a respectable employment rate by forcing citizens into Citroen and Renault factories to rebuild the country’s automobile supply.

Meanwhile, the world watches as the French—who so annoyingly lecture the rest of the globe about how to do things correctly—get a dose of karmic justice. And the world laughs.

Except for neighboring European countries, of course. For the first time in modern history, they are fearing something coming out of France.

If only the rioters were speaking German—the French government would have given up eleven days ago.