Criminal Behavior Uncovered

The latest Malaysian news has me wondering.

I know all of you keep up on happenings in Kuala Lumpur, so I guess I’ll have to be more specific. I am referring to the flaming flap between China and Malaysia about, well, squat. Or, more accurately, squats.

Another video showing police brutality has emerged, this time starring the Malaysian police—who made an ethnic Chinese woman perform what were described as ”naked squats.”

Yes, more readers just clicked on that link than on links in all of my 50 or so previous posts combined.

No, the link does not have the video, only a suggestive little picture. Sorry about that.

But the story remains. China is thinking the Malaysians are not appropriately apologetic for the incident. Malaysia, or at least one of its government ministers, is thinking foreigners who disagree with the country’s police methods can leave.

Everyone else in the world is thinking … naked squats?!?

We can no longer avoid the naked truth. There is an undeniable global correlation between law enforcement and nude exercise. We remember the pictures from Abu Ghuraib, showing unclothed men compelled to do an impromptu balance beam routine. And now this Malaysian workout.

I suppose we should expect to see paramilitary units in South America forcing nude fútbol upon their prisoners, or police in India compelling inmates to play cricket matches in the buff.

On a related note, polls of men worldwide reveal that (a) they want Malaysian police stations to install many, many more video cameras, and (b) they want Charlize Theron, Angelina Jolie, and Jessica Alba to commit many, many crimes in Malaysia.