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Wednesday, November 30, 2005

Criminal Behavior Uncovered

The latest Malaysian news has me wondering.

I know all of you keep up on happenings in Kuala Lumpur, so I guess I’ll have to be more specific. I am referring to the flaming flap between China and Malaysia about, well, squat. Or, more accurately, squats.

Another video showing police brutality has emerged, this time starring the Malaysian police—who made an ethnic Chinese woman perform what were described as ”naked squats.”

Yes, more readers just clicked on that link than on links in all of my 50 or so previous posts combined.

No, the link does not have the video, only a suggestive little picture. Sorry about that.

But the story remains. China is thinking the Malaysians are not appropriately apologetic for the incident. Malaysia, or at least one of its government ministers, is thinking foreigners who disagree with the country’s police methods can leave.

Everyone else in the world is thinking … naked squats?!?

We can no longer avoid the naked truth. There is an undeniable global correlation between law enforcement and nude exercise. We remember the pictures from Abu Ghuraib, showing unclothed men compelled to do an impromptu balance beam routine. And now this Malaysian workout.

I suppose we should expect to see paramilitary units in South America forcing nude fútbol upon their prisoners, or police in India compelling inmates to play cricket matches in the buff.

On a related note, polls of men worldwide reveal that (a) they want Malaysian police stations to install many, many more video cameras, and (b) they want Charlize Theron, Angelina Jolie, and Jessica Alba to commit many, many crimes in Malaysia.

4 Comments:

At December 01, 2005 1:52 AM, Blogger RT replied to my musings ...

Wow, David. I don't know whether to laugh or be appalled...

Give me a second to finish laughing.

 
At December 01, 2005 10:23 AM, Blogger Linny replied to my musings ...

aren't all squats performed naked? if not... I need to have a chat with my personal trainer

 
At December 01, 2005 1:29 PM, Blogger An80sNut replied to my musings ...

One part of me hopes this is an isolated incident and that it won't happen again but the other wants it to be a DirecTV adopt it as a new 24/7 channel.

 
At December 01, 2005 5:54 PM, Blogger The Phoenix replied to my musings ...

Holy crap, you just named my top 3 right there - in no particular order. Charlize, Angelina, Jessica...you all need to book a flight to Malaysia.

Why piss off China? That's a dumb thing to do.

 

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