Saturday, October 29, 2005

Don't Cry For Me, Filipinos

There are many people’s lives worth remembering.

A few are even worth analyzing in depth. Maybe transformed into print or into paint. Perhaps even re-enacted on the screen or on the stage.

I can think of a few that have worked well. The play and movie “Amadeus,” for example. And Robert Downey, Jr.’s “Chaplin” was worthwhile. “Troy” was a fun movie—and we don’t even know if Achilles actually existed.

But there is one play the world truly does not need. And yet we are getting it anyway, courtesy of DJ Fatboy Slim (remember “Praise You?”) and David Byrne, formerly of the Talking Heads (remember “Burning Down the House?”).

Believe it or not, these two are writing a musical about none other than Imelda Marcos, former first lady of the Philippines and notorious owner of way, WAY too many shoes.

The play is going to kick off next March in Australia—a country/continent known for class. In the 1980s, we had Paul Hogan grabbing other men’s crotches. The 1990s brought us Aussie Michael Hutchence’s auto-erotic hanging suicide (coroner’s report notwithstanding). Recently, Russell Crowe, who apparently was pissed that the Sydney Olympics did not have a phone-throwing competition, decided to start the sport himself.

What has inspired these two to create this play? After all, Ferdinand and Imelda were booted out of office in 1986—it seems odd that now is the time to fill the growing cultural void of quality stage depictions of the spouses of deposed East Asian strongmen.

Call me crazy … but it seems to me the theater-going public would be better served by a focus on people that have actually impacted the world in the past decade. Here are a few suggestions:

1. A one-man show tying the most popular actor in Germany with that nation’s storied philosophical tradition: “Hasselhoff Reads Hegel.”

2. The story of the George W. Bush presidency … from an S&M angle: “Spank Me and Call Me Bush.”

3. A tale of love between a young man named Ashton and an older woman: “Mommy, Can I Have Some Moore?”

Unlike the Imelda Marcos play, at least one of these would be a shoe-in for a Tony.


At October 29, 2005 9:27 PM, Blogger The 502 replied to my musings ...

3. A tale of love between a young man named Ashton and an older woman: “Mommy, Can I Have Some Moore?”

It's funny you should mention that. Ashton is working on a pilot for a sitcom about a young man and an older woman. Write what you know.

At October 30, 2005 3:15 PM, Blogger The Phoenix replied to my musings ...

OK, a musical by DJ Fatboy slim and David Byrne???

Is that like Vince Neil of Montley Crue and Kenny Rogers writing a book of haikus?

Imelda Marcos - she and her husband sucked their own country dry for their own wealth. Way to go Austraila!

At October 30, 2005 8:43 PM, Blogger David Amulet replied to my musings ...

I know, Phoenix--it seems like I made this up, but it's true. (If the news had been released on April 1 instead of in October, I would have been suspicious.)

-- d.a.

At October 30, 2005 9:28 PM, Blogger Laurie replied to my musings ...

I like your ideas - very funny!

At October 31, 2005 4:27 PM, Blogger Suzanne replied to my musings ...

hmmm. shoes, or celebrity dish.
I just don't know which is more fascinating....

At November 02, 2005 11:33 AM, Blogger Andy replied to my musings ...

Oh there are many worse ideas out there. I once went to an opera that ended up being about the painter Goya's skull. It was really bad.

At November 03, 2005 2:03 AM, Blogger thebluestbutterfly replied to my musings ...

Does it seem that this opera will portray her favorably???

At November 03, 2005 6:09 AM, Blogger David Amulet replied to my musings ...

Thanks, Laurie.

Suzanne: This story seems to have a bit of both ... you must be ecstatic!

Hey Andy, I'm glad YOU subjected yourself to that one and I avoided it, although I did endure a play years ago that featured a dead Trotsky with an axe in his head ...

Butterfly: Thanks for fluttering by. It seems that this will, in fact, portray her somehwat positively, focusing on his clubbing in the U.S. Bizarre.

At November 03, 2005 7:47 AM, Blogger DLAK replied to my musings ...

I saw David Byrne last year, it was great. Roger Waters has a new opera, he was on public radio talking about it this past weekend.

At November 04, 2005 8:42 AM, Blogger Sudiegirl replied to my musings ...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

At February 19, 2006 8:26 PM, Blogger Leah replied to my musings ...

Don't forget about the other Aussie headache... The Crocodile Hunter. Mmmmm...there's some good times right there. Man in khaki shorts lovin' on the animals.

At March 07, 2006 3:45 PM, Blogger PDD replied to my musings ...

Okay first, you couldn't have chosen a better title for this post. I busted out laughing at the title alone without knowing what the hell it was about.


Also, I think I'd rather see Ed Wood resurect just for Oscar night.


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